Plan Comic Strips - Page 27
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Character
518 Results for Plan
View 261 - 270 results for plan comic strips. Discover the best "Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 26,
2007
Tags emails, high priority, entire week, working, feeding squirrel, east entrance
Transcript
Wally: All of your e-mails this week were marked as highest priority. "So I spent the entire week working on the first one." "Next week I plan to continue not feeding the squirrels by the east entrance."
Sunday June 10,
2007
Tags corporate strategy, plan, consistent, leveraging platforms, rewrite plan, pretend to follow
Transcript
The Boss: "Is your plan consistent with our corporate strategy?" Dilbert: "How would I know?" The Boss: "Don't you know our strategy?" Dilbert: "No. Do you?" The Boss: "Of course I do. It's something about leveraging our platforms." "Does your plan leverage our platforms?" Dilbert: "No, but I can rewrite my plan so it seems as if it does." The Boss: "Good. Go back and do that." "There's no point in having a strategy if you aren't going to pretend to follow it."
Tuesday May 22,
2007
Monday May 21,
2007
Monday April 16,
2007
Friday March 23,
2007
Monday February 26,
2007
Tags asbestos, ceiling, no worries, disturbed, plan to be disturbed
Transcript
The Boss: The facilities people tell me there's asbestos in the ceiling. They say you don't need to worry about it unless it gets disturbed. They plan to disturb it today.
Sunday February 25,
2007
Tags in charge, assignment, budget, approve expenses, report, project plan, take blame, project failed
Transcript
The Boss: You'll be in charge of this project. Dilbert: What's my budget?" The Boss: I'll need to approve all expenses. Dilbert: Who will report to me? The Boss: Your team will report to me and I'll tell them what to do. Dilbert: I'll start on the project plan. The Boss: Um... Skip that part. I already have a plan in my head. Dilbert: Hypothetically, who would take the blame if this project failed? Well, you're in charge...
Sunday February 18,
2007
Tags arc welder, barrel of kerosene, growth on neck, health plan, laid eggs, pregnant termite, quick search, to diagnose, use google
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: The new company health plan is Google. From now on, employees must use Google to diagnose their own illnesses. For example, this guy has a growth on his neck. Guy: I do? Catbert: A quick search on my Blackberry tells me it's... Guy: What is it?!! Catbert: Ooh. Wow. A pregnant termite crawled into your mouth and built a hive in your esophagus. Guy: GAAA!!!" "Stop being a baby. The treatment for that is... Catbert: Do you have an arc welder and a barrel of kerosene?"
Friday January 19,
2007
Tags staff meeting, posting, six sigma methods, eliminate gap, waste of time
Transcript
The Boss: Carol, schedule a staff meeting. Carol: What's the topic?" The Boss: I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives. Carol: I'll just say 'Waste of time'.


