Rich People Comic Strips - Page 27

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View 261 - 270 results for rich people comic strips. Discover the best "Rich People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Uses Tropy For Credibility

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Wally Uses Tropy For Credibility - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trophy, labels, credibility, employee of the year, awards, award, deception

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Wall: I use my "Employee of the Year" trophy for my coffee now because it gives me instant credibility. Dilbert: I don't see how. Wally: People are not deep. Man: That's the dumbest thing anyone's ever... oh, sorry. Didn't see your trophy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, praise, admiration, anger, compliments

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Alice: What do you want now? Dilbert: Experts say leaders should surround themselves with people they admire and be generous with praise. Alice, I admire your hard work and intellect. Alice: Stop it! This is creepy! Dilbert: I admire your focus and your determination. Alice: Gaaa!!! Stop admiring me! My skin is crawling! Dilbert: I admire your honesty! Alice: Blech! Wally: Do you feel more like a leader now? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that people hate me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, work, google, big business, projects, ideas, innovation

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CEO: We're borrowing a policy from Google because they are so awesome. You may now use 20% of your workday on your own project ideas. Dilbert: Are you saying we can do 20% less work on our core functions? CEO: No, no. Nothing like that. I'm saying you can work on your own project ideas for 20% of your time. Dilbert: Okay... so... if the 20% doesn't come out of our work hours, where does it come from? Alice: I think he's trying to make us work 20% longer for the same amount of pay. Dilbert; We could just tell people we do it, but not do it. CEO: Same as Google! That's all I'm asking.

Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates

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Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social interaction, social media, coders, coding, engineers, friends, work ethic, social life, technology

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Dilbert: I invented an app that evaluates job candidates based on their online footprint. Here's a guy with no friend, no hobbies, no family, and hundreds of high-quality code submissions to GitHub. Wait, that's me. Boss: Do you have any apps about other people?

World's Greatest Economist

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World's Greatest Economist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coincidence, deception, economist, economy, money, random jargon, art, science

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Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.

Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom

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Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags economist, Promotion, jargon, babble, deception, smart people, obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags weight, dieting, willpower, denial, circular logic, eating, health, happiness, weight loss, obesity, psychology, medical

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can help people lose weight. Boss: I wouldn't need that because I have willpower. Dilbert: Then why are you overweight? Boss: This is temporary. Dilbert: You've looked exactly the same for years. Boss: I can lose this weight any time I want. Dilbert: So... are you saying you choose to be less healthy than you could be? Boss: I'm saying I'd rather be happy than healthy. Dilbert: Are you happy? Boss: No, because I'm hungry. Dilbert: And eating will make you happy? Boss: Well, I usually eat until I'm sick.

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoy people, frustration, packaging, product design, sadism, software, torture, product code, engineering

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!

Have To Promote Wally

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Have To Promote Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad decision, mentor, mentoring, promotions, protege, promote, vice presdient, good news

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Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

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Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Promotion, saving face, executives, bad advice, bad ideas, mentor, mentoring

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CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?