Room Mate Comic Strips - Page 27
336 Results for Room Mate
View 261 - 270 results for room mate comic strips. Discover the best "Room Mate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 04, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert tells Alice and Wally, "We're waiting for Ted, then we can head for the restaurant." Wally says, "While we're waiting, I'll return a few phone calls." Ted walks up and says, "Let's go! Hey, where's Wally?" Dilbert thinks, "The chain reaction has begun." Dilbert covers his eyes and thinks, "Why can't we do this simple thing?" Alice says, "I'll be in the ladies' room." Wally asks, "Where's Alice?" Ted says, "I've got to mail a letter. I'll take my car and meet you there." Wally thinks, "I can make some calls." Dilbert yells at Ted, "You're the only one who knows which restaurant we're going to!" Ted replies, "Alice knows where it is. Tell her it's the one with the food." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Has your team finished engineering the new missile guidance chip?" Dilbert replies, "I think it's time to give peace a chance."
Share November 12, 1994's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss hands around a box of donuts and says, "One of these donuts contains a memo which fires the recipient." The Boss continues, "This seemed like the most humane way to reduce headcount." As they walk out of the conference room, Dilbert says, "How was your donut?" Wally replies, "The first two were great. The third was papery."
Share October 30, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: "Exhibit 'A' is my empty lunch bag, last seen full." "Only the people in this room had the motive and the opportunity." "Inspector Dogbert will investigate." Dogbert: "Sniff. You were in the mail room with Willy the mail boy all morning. You are innocent." "Sort of." "Sniff. I give you a 'C+' for hygiene but you did not take the lunch." "Sniff. Bologna...potato chips...carrot sticks...ha!!!" "This is the thief who took the decoy lunch...which we laced with synthetic female hormones!" Wally: "You can't prove anything!" Dogbert: "Is there something you'd like to get off your chest?"
Share October 29, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: Have you started to hate the new finance guy yet? wally: yeah, Is tarted yesterday. Dilbert: He seems so rigid. Wally: Rigid and inflexible, Not a team player. Dilbert: Do you have an extra napkin? Wally: I won't really know until Im done.
Share October 18, 1994's comic on:
EXECUTIVE BOARD ROOM TED: our competitors are kicking our pasty white rumps. Ted: Im bringing in dogcart to fire employees until we're stronger than the competition. Man: How will the work get done with no employees? Ted: Id better form a test force to study that.
Share September 11, 1994's comic on:
"Copy Room" "Stop right there!" "It's Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light." "What's in your hands?" "I'm just borrowing some paper for the laser printer. There's no law against that!" "I think we both know that the copier paper and the printer paper are purchased and tracked separately." "You've made a mockery of the system! I darn you to heck!" "Your punishment is to sit at the secretary's cubicle and endure the stale wit of your co-workers." "Hey, Wendy, there's something different about you today!"
Share July 15, 1994's comic on:
"I hear you need a carpool urgently." "No, I need 'carpal tunnel surgery'." "The repetitive motion of typing has caused permanent damage. I have to wear braces until the surgery." "There's no room in my carpool."
Share May 15, 1994's comic on:
Tags #pretending, #personal lives, #interested, #management technique, #job satisfaction, #more money, #boost intangible benefits, #chisel away, #salaries, #families, #wife divorced, #job lowers self esteem, #attract mate, #said hello
"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."
Share February 20, 1994's comic on:
Tags #45 inch screen, #communications staellite, #cure disease, #fish appear on screen, #great products, #marketing, #new product, #room freshener, #telepathic user, #whiten teeth, #time travel, #business
How Great Products are designed The Boss: Go talk to marketing. Dilbert: Groan Dilbert: Dave, tell me what marketing wants the new product to do. Dave: It has to have a 45 inch screen and still fit in a purse or a wallet. Dave: It needs to act as a communications satellite as well as a room fresher. Dilbert: uh... Dave: it must cure deadly diseases and whoyten your teeth while you sleep! HAHA! and it has to be capable of time travel!! and have a telepathic user interface! Slap! Dilbert: I could write a program that makes fish appear on the computer screen, DAVE: yeah a lot of people want that.
Share February 10, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"