Change Focus Comic Strips - Page 27

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320 Results for Change Focus

View 261 - 270 results for change focus comic strips. Discover the best "Change Focus" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #doing it wrong, #response time, #sub second, #two seconds, #always right, #never wrong, #screaming

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Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #decoy

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Dilbert: My invention will change the world and get me promoted three levels above you. Boss: Haa-chaaa! Sorry. I'm usually more subtle. Dilbert: No worries. This was a decoy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #mad scientists, #marketing dept, #mice, #one evil genius, #pathways, #rewire, #ontogenetic technology

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Boss: We replaced our entire marketing department with one evil genius. Evil Genius: My optogenic* technology can re-wire the neural pathways of our customers and change their preferences. You like gray. Asok: I like to be gay. *Already works on mice.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #big business, #discussion, #clear expectations, #revising them, #faulty, #inspiring

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Boss: The key to great leadership is setting clear expectations and periodically revising them as conditions change. Dilbert: If you plan to revise expectations, that tells me you know them to be faulty now. Boss: Maybe. Wally: Stop inspiring me so much.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #creativity, #fear, #insubordination, #managers & supervisors, #stay out of trouble, #business

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Boss: How's your creativity coming along? Dilbert: I don't have any. Your management style makes me focus all of my energy on staying out of trouble. Boss: Your insubordination is unacceptable! Dilbert: And there it is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #electronic mail, #thinking, #lack of creativity, #choke yourself, #creating ideas

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Boss: I traced all of our problems back to your lack of creativity. You should be creating ideas that change the course of civilization, but instead, you sit there like a lump. Dilbert: I'm sending you a link that describes fun ways to choke yourself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #deception, #insincere compliments, #make likable, #didn't spill, #no change

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Dilbert: I read that using people's names and giving insincere compliments will make me likeable. Good job pouring that coffee, Wally. You didn't spill a drop. Wally: I don't feel any different. Dilbert: Maybe the problem is on your end.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation

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CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #bunch of names, #complaining, #name of new app, #new app, #underscore, #suggestions

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CEO: I don't like the name of our new app. You need to change it. Dilbert: Perhaps you can underscore your point by suggesting a bunch of names that are already taken. Do you mind if I think of other things while you do that?

Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate

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Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deadlines, #delivery, #management, #negotiating, #negotiation, #reorganization

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Negotiations Continue. Salesman: I can't meet your delivery deadline unless you agree to my price today. Dilbert: If you don't agree to my price today, management is likely to do a reorg soon and change its mind about this project. Salesman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It hasn't happened since breakfast, so we're overdue.