Charge Customers Comic Strips - Page 27

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281 Results for Charge Customers

View 261 - 270 results for charge customers comic strips. Discover the best "Charge Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

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Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, speaker, alexa, google, blackmail, extortion, spying, secrets

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

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Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Dogbert The Loan Shark

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Dogbert The Loan Shark - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loan, loan shark, money, racket, interest

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Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle

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Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, cell phones, fragile, aesthetics, vanity

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Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.

Winning Design Awards

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Winning Design Awards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, fragile, cell phone, crack, screen, evil, technology

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Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!

Unplugged Server

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Unplugged Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags server, obliviousness, cell phone, phone, charging, technology

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Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?

Aggressive Littering

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Aggressive Littering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags guilt, plea, charges, littering, murder, rich people, discrimination

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Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.

Bad User Interface

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Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags user experience, interface, usability, menu, language

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."

Changing Company Name

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Changing Company Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hacker, hacking, privacy, facebook, retaliation, data, breach

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Boss: Our customers are complaining because we let hackers get their personal data. So we've decided to change the name of the company and wear disguises until it all blows over. Take a mustache from the bag and pass it around.

Massive Data Breach

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Massive Data Breach - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags data, facebook, privacy, apology, statement, big business, lying, damage control

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Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.