Charge Customers Comic Strips - Page 27
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281 Results for Charge Customers
View 261 - 270 results for charge customers comic strips. Discover the best "Charge Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 15,
2017
Home Speaker Goes Bad
Friday July 21,
2017
Make It Hard To Uninstall
Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business
Transcript
Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.
Tuesday December 12,
2017
Dogbert The Loan Shark
Tags loan, loan shark, money, racket, interest
Transcript
Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.
Monday December 25,
2017
Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle
Tags technology, cell phones, fragile, aesthetics, vanity
Transcript
Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.
Wednesday December 27,
2017
Winning Design Awards
Tags design, fragile, cell phone, crack, screen, evil, technology
Transcript
Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!
Thursday March 22,
2018
Unplugged Server
Tags server, obliviousness, cell phone, phone, charging, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?
Saturday April 28,
2018
Aggressive Littering
Tags guilt, plea, charges, littering, murder, rich people, discrimination
Transcript
Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.
Wednesday May 02,
2018
Bad User Interface
Tags user experience, interface, usability, menu, language
Transcript
Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."
Thursday May 10,
2018
Changing Company Name
Tags hacker, hacking, privacy, facebook, retaliation, data, breach
Transcript
Boss: Our customers are complaining because we let hackers get their personal data. So we've decided to change the name of the company and wear disguises until it all blows over. Take a mustache from the bag and pass it around.
Monday May 07,
2018
Massive Data Breach
Tags data, facebook, privacy, apology, statement, big business, lying, damage control
Transcript
Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.