Charge Customers Comic Strips - Page 27

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

278 Results for Charge Customers

View 261 - 270 results for charge customers comic strips. Discover the best "Charge Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Dogbert The Loan Shark

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Loan Shark   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loan, #loan shark, #money, #racket, #interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #cell phones, #fragile, #aesthetics, #vanity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.

Winning Design Awards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Winning Design Awards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #fragile, #cell phone, #crack, #screen, #evil, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!

Unplugged Server

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unplugged Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #server, #obliviousness, #cell phone, #phone, #charging, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?

Aggressive Littering

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Aggressive Littering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guilt, #plea, #charges, #littering, #murder, #rich people, #discrimination

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.

Bad User Interface

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user experience, #interface, #usability, #menu, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."

Changing Company Name

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Changing Company Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #privacy, #facebook, #retaliation, #data, #breach

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our customers are complaining because we let hackers get their personal data. So we've decided to change the name of the company and wear disguises until it all blows over. Take a mustache from the bag and pass it around.

Massive Data Breach

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Massive Data Breach  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #data, #facebook, #privacy, #apology, #statement, #big business, #lying, #damage control

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.

Elbonian Sales Video Assignment

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Sales Video Assignment  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #catch-22, #misunderstanding, #communication

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.