Computer Software Comic Strips - Page 27
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870 Results for Computer Software
View 261 - 270 results for computer software comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Software" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 09,
2008
Tags fortune, personally negotiating, contract, new era system, several components, software, hardware, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "I saved a fortune by personally negotiating the contract for our new ERP system." Dilbert says, "You bought outdated hardware and forgot several components that are required." Dilbert says, "And I like software with my hardware, but that's just me."
Wednesday September 10,
2008
Tags bought entire era system, software, money, boat sinkiing, anchor to head, staff, out of money, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "We inadvertently bought an entire ERP system without any software. Now we're out of money." Asok says, "Why do I suddenly feel like my boat is sinking and someone nailed an anchor to my head?" The Boss says, "If only someone on my staff could write the software in his spare time..." Asok says, "Glub glub glub"
Thursday September 25,
2008
Tags director of green, turn off computer, stupid
Transcript
Director of Green Andy says, "Turn off your computer while you're thinking." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." Andy says, "if it weren't stupid, you wouldn't need me to tell you to do it."
Thursday November 20,
2008
Tags computer, distraction, internet, productive, pictures of gadgets, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I want to be productive, but the internet is calling to me. Computer: Hey, buddy. I've got pictures of gadgets. Dilbert: Cool ones? Computer: Sure, let's pretend that matters.
Monday December 08,
2008
Tags computer, hacking, illegal, support, technology, diagnose computer problem, remotely, spam server, snoop files, pilfer bank act.
Transcript
Dogbert's tech support Dogbert: May I remotely take over your computer to diagnose the problem? Now hold while I snoop into your personal filed, pilfer your bank accounts and turn your computer into a spam server. Client: THAT'S ILLEGAL! Dogbert: So are 75% of your personal files, but you don't see me getting all huffy.
Thursday December 11,
2008
Tags computer, financial, trouble, new computer, executive suite, no visitors, vacant offcies, financial troubles, old computer, vacant office, technology
Transcript
The boss: We need your new computer for the empty office in the executive suite. We don't want any visitors to see vacant offices. They might think we're having financial troubles. Dilbert: Why don't we put my old computer in the vacant office? My boss: That's crazy talk.
Monday March 15,
2010
Tags present, software engineer, give, program, product, box, hand, receive, look, Features, criticize, depressed, first copy
Transcript
The Boss says, "As lead software engineer, I give you the first unit of our ten thousand copy production run." Dilbert says, "Wow! I wish we'd designed it with the features listed on the box. That would have been awesome." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "I'll put this with the other reminders of how my life could have been excellent."
Wednesday March 17,
2010
Tags technical issue, coworker, sitting in chairs, facing each other, software, yell, condescend, stupid, dumb, dense, shout, sitting on couch, touchy, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I've been asked to explain our technical issue in terms you can understand." Logan says, "Good." Dilbert says, "THE SOFTWARE, IT NO WORKY!!!" Dilbert says, "He was dense and touchy. It's a bad combination."
Friday April 02,
2010
Tags training, new software, trick, hire, job opening, interview, technical expert, provide
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."
Monday April 19,
2010
Tags question, cubicle, fix bugs, control management software, lie, truth, square dance, ignorance, pleaser
Transcript
The Boss says, "How long will it take to fix the bugs in our control management software?" Dilbert says, "Do you want a realistic estimate that will ruin your day, or a lie that will allow your ignorance and your happiness to lock arms and square dance to the next cubicle?" The Boss says, "That second option sounds festive." Dilbert says, "I'm a pleaser."

