Employee Comic Strips - Page 27
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Character
514 Results for Employee
View 261 - 270 results for employee comic strips. Discover the best "Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 08,
2000
Tags managing instanct, belly button lint, leave employee, unhygenic, weird, intimate, gone too far
Transcript
The boss is sticking his hands in his shirt and thinks: "I've got a good crop of lint in my belly button today." The boss thinks: "I'll leave it on Dilbert's keyboard." The boss thinks: "I wonder if there's such a thing as managing too much by instict."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday February 11,
2000
Tags cynics annonymous, fluorescent lights, higher power, naive optimism, perfect emplyee
Transcript
Catbert tells Dilbert: "Dilbert, you've become too aware of reality. I'm sending you to 'Cynics Anonymous.'" Catbert continues: "A higher power will help you regain the naive optimism that once made you a perfect employee." Dilbert says: "Why can't the higher power change me while I'm sitting here?" Catbert answers: "Fluorescent lights block his power."
Tuesday March 07,
2000
Tags dont pay enough, hire brilliant people, web team, stock options
Transcript
An employee explains to the Boss: "We don't pay enough to hire brilliant people for our web team." She continues: "I need webiot savants who don't know they should have better jobs." At a hiring interview the the applicant says: "I'd expect stock options, of course." She turns and yells, "Next!!"
Tuesday April 25,
2000
Tags social misfits, keep him away, normal people, engineering liason
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer working. The Boss approaches with a new employee. The Boss says to the new employee, "Dilbert is one of our social misfits." The Boss says to the new employee, "Your job is to keep him away from normal people." Dilbert, still facing his computer is obviously annoyed by what he is hearing. Unable to keep quiet, Dilbert yells without turning around, "Hello! I'm right here!" The Boss and the new employee unaffected by Dilbert's outburst, continue their conversation. The Boss says to the new employee, "Your title will be Engineering Liason."
Friday June 09,
2000
Tags two faced, employee, see one, turn around, other faces, confusing, frustrating, pointing
Transcript
Edfred: I disagree with Dilbert. The boss's plan is brilliant. Dilbert: Your other face agreed with me two minutes ago! What other face? No...I still just see the one.
Wednesday June 28,
2000
Tags loofah, new company concierge, personal, any errand
Transcript
The Boss says to his staff, "Ratbert is our new company concierge." Ratbert says, "I will perform any errand, no matter how personal or degrading it is." One employee says to Ratbert, "I need a loofah." Ratbert replies, "Lather me up!"
Saturday July 01,
2000
Tags company concierge, alibi, lye, a barrel, police, break you, legal
Transcript
An employee says to Ratbert the Concierge, "I need an alibi." The employee continues, "The police will try to beat the truth out of you, but don't let them break you!" The employee goes on, "I also need lye...and a barrel...better yet, make that two barrels."
Wednesday July 26,
2000
Tags three days, repair guy, under desk, uninvited, feeds licorice, animals, feed animals, i.s. people
Transcript
Wally asks Noriko, "How long has he been under your desk?" Noriko replies, "Three days." Wallys asks Noriko, "Did you feed him?" Noriko answers, "Just some licorice." Wally says to Noriko, "You should never feed the I.S. people." The I.S. employee responds, "More licorice!"
Thursday July 27,
2000
Tags upgraded three things, broke three things, terms, computer work
Transcript
The I.S. employee says to Noriko, "Well, I upgraded three things and I accidentally broke three things." The I.S. employee continues, "In I.S. terms, I came out ahead." Noriko responds, "Does my computer work?" The I.S. employee replies, "No, but if it did, it would be much faster."
Friday September 01,
2000
Tags technical certificate, new power, better job, different comaony, hired you
Transcript
An employee says to the Boss, "Ha Ha! You never should have let me get a technical certification." The employee continues to explain, "I used my new power to get a better job at a different company." The Boss replies, "Tell me again why I hired you?"

