Face On Pennies Comic Strips - Page 27
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boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.
dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.
dilbert and dogbert wearing face masks on a walk. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a book. dogbert: can boring people write interesting books? dilbert: maybe i write better than i speak. dogbert: sure, and maybe an elephant lives in my colon.
dilbert and carol wearing face masks. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a novel. carol yelling: stay in your lane! i'm not ambitious and i have intense hate-jealousy for anyone who is! dilbert: i was looking for some encouragement. carol: die! die! die!
dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.
office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.
boss wearing face mask: what would you say are your weaknesses? office worker: i have a deep disrespect for authority. boss: but...you don't act on it, right? office worker: let's not take the surprise out of it.
boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.
boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy
dogbert wearing face mask: i stopped using good arguments because sarcasm works better. dilbert wearing face mask: that doesn't sound like a productive thing to do. dogbert: oooh, look who's an expert on productivity now.