Forty Million Dollars Comic Strips - Page 27

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

271 Results for Forty Million Dollars

View 261 - 270 results for forty million dollars comic strips. Discover the best "Forty Million Dollars" comics from Dilbert.com.

Pat Yourself On The Head

Thank you for voting.
Pat Yourself On The Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #reward, #prizes, #reimbursement, #expense report

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm naming you employee of the month. Your prize is twenty dollars cash and a pat on the head. Give yourself twenty dollars and submit an employee reimbursement request. Dilbert: Can I pat myself on the head, too? Boss: I was hoping you would offer.

Sunk Costs

Thank you for voting.
Sunk Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #money, #big business, #logic, #loss, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.

Crypto Key

Thank you for voting.
Crypto Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #Wally, #cryptocurrency, #wallet, #disappeared, #private, #key

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #exercise & fitness, #frustration, #lunch, #office workers, #time, #walking, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Would you like to take a long walk with me at lunch to get some exercise? Tina: That's a great idea! Dilbert: Okay, I'll come get you at noon. Ready? Tina: Yes, I only need ten minutes to finish this. Dilbert: I only have an hour for lunch, and your ten minutes will turn into twenty. Tina: That's okay because I wore heels today and I can't walk more than a block anyway. Dilbert: Why did you agree to take a long walk if you couldn't take a long walk? Tina: Because I was planning to walk to the store on the corner to do an errand anyway. Dilbert: You've ruined my walk! Tina: Just give me forty minutes to wrap this up.

Health Problems

Thank you for voting.
Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Nuclear Power Invention

Thank you for voting.
Nuclear Power Invention - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #money, #office, #office workers, #nuclear power

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

Thank you for voting.
Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Boss Negotiates With Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Boss Negotiates With Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?

Conference Call

Thank you for voting.
Conference Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #conference call, #meeting, #useful, #don't care

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.

Illegal To Sell Armed Drones

Thank you for voting.
Illegal To Sell Armed Drones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #illegal, #armed, #drones, #private, #citizens, #sell, #business, #technology, #bribe, #law

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.