Human Comic Strips - Page 27

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

317 Results for Human

View 261 - 270 results for human comic strips. Discover the best "Human" comics from Dilbert.com.

Topper Never Sleeps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Topper Never Sleeps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sleep, #tired, #brag, #bragging, #braggart, #absurd, #competition, #top, #embellish, #embellishment, #exaggeration, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Dilbert: I only slept four hours last night. Topper: That's nothing. I was born awake and decided to stay that way. Dilbert: Lack of sleep is making me a little loopy. Topper: I have a human head collection.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Employees Should Be Optimists

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Should Be Optimists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #optimism, #optimist, #work ethic, #gullible, #trick, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!

Next Robot Will Be Intelligent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Next Robot Will Be Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #insult, #intelligence, #obliviousness, #robot, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our next robot release will have the intelligence of a human! Dilbert: Will it have intelligence in the same way you do? Boss: What are you implying? Dilbert: I'll bet the robot wouldn't know either.

Wally Has A Sitting Injury

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has A Sitting Injury - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #injury, #sitting, #human resources, #complaint, #stress, #hurt, #health, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

The Problem Is People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Problem Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #human factor, #human error, #people, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #advising, #teenagers, #parents, #Parenting, #tattoo, #piercing, #terrorism, #boundaries

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.

Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #encryption, #security, #human error, #secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.

Elbonian Messenger

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Messenger - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #security, #national security, #information, #human error, #spying, #encryption, #technology, #trust, #espionage

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.

People Are Terrible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Are Terrible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate, #human error, #interpersonal, #introvert, #misanthropy, #people, #antisocial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.