Human Comic Strips - Page 27
Search Filters
Year
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
317 Results for Human
View 261 - 270 results for human comic strips. Discover the best "Human" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 05,
2015
Topper Never Sleeps
Tags #sleep, #tired, #brag, #bragging, #braggart, #absurd, #competition, #top, #embellish, #embellishment, #exaggeration, #health
Transcript
Topper. Dilbert: I only slept four hours last night. Topper: That's nothing. I was born awake and decided to stay that way. Dilbert: Lack of sleep is making me a little loopy. Topper: I have a human head collection.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday September 07,
2015
Employees Should Be Optimists
Tags #optimism, #optimist, #work ethic, #gullible, #trick, #deception
Transcript
Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!
Tuesday October 06,
2015
Next Robot Will Be Intelligent
Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #insult, #intelligence, #obliviousness, #robot, #stupid
Transcript
Boss: Our next robot release will have the intelligence of a human! Dilbert: Will it have intelligence in the same way you do? Boss: What are you implying? Dilbert: I'll bet the robot wouldn't know either.
Tuesday October 20,
2015
Wally Has A Sitting Injury
Tags #injury, #sitting, #human resources, #complaint, #stress, #hurt, #health, #business
Transcript
Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.
Sunday November 15,
2015
Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers
Transcript
Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.
Wednesday December 09,
2015
The Problem Is People
Tags #failure, #human factor, #human error, #people, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #teamwork
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.
Sunday April 03,
2016
Tags #Advice, #advising, #teenagers, #parents, #Parenting, #tattoo, #piercing, #terrorism, #boundaries
Transcript
Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.
Thursday April 21,
2016
Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software
Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #encryption, #security, #human error, #secrets
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.
Friday April 22,
2016
Elbonian Messenger
Tags #secret, #security, #national security, #information, #human error, #spying, #encryption, #technology, #trust, #espionage
Transcript
Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.
Friday April 29,
2016
People Are Terrible
Tags #hate, #human error, #interpersonal, #introvert, #misanthropy, #people, #antisocial
Transcript
Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.