Less Confident Comic Strips - Page 27
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274 Results for Less Confident
View 261 - 270 results for less confident comic strips. Discover the best "Less Confident" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 12,
2019
The Consultant
Tags #Advice, #boss, #business, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #judgement
Transcript
Man: ...And that's what I recommend. Boss: I reject your recommendation because it doesn't match what we already decided to do. Man: That's no way to run a business. Boss: Can you refer me to a less judgy consultant?
Saturday November 16,
2019
Help Me With Something
Tags #office workers, #compensation, #system, #incentive, #budget, #limit, #smart, #business
Transcript
male office worker: can you help me with something? dilbert: no, our employee compensation system incentivizes me to let you fail so i can lay claim to a larger share of our limited budget for raises. maybe you could ask someone who is less aware. office worker: none of them are smart enough to help.
Thursday November 28,
2019
Humans Getting Wiser
Tags #business, #psychology, #humans, #dumb, #selfish, #wise, #interact, #people
Transcript
dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?
Wednesday December 11,
2019
Saying You Are Dumb
Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product
Transcript
dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.
Saturday December 28,
2019
Employee Engagement Survey
Tags #managers & supervisors, #underpay, #senior, #management, #accurate, #information, #engagement, #survey, #important, #underpaid
Transcript
boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.
Thursday January 23,
2020
Donating To Politicians
Tags #business, #technology, #Politics, #government, #campaign, #bribe, #faith, #drones, #guns, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert, boss and alice at table boss: i donated to a few campaigns, and coincidentally a law changed that i wanted changed. now it's legal for us to sell drones that are armed with machine guns. dilbert: i've never had less faith in my government. boss: i also got us a tax break.
Saturday February 22,
2020
Self Actualization
Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #business, #work, #talk, #listen, #self-actualized
Transcript
dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.
Tuesday February 25,
2020
Pragmatist
Tags #business, #plans, #office workers, #stupid, #pragmatist, #practical, #implement, #technology
Transcript
asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.
Friday March 20,
2020
Two Futures
Friday June 26,
2020
Input From Idiots
Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #input, #idiots, #project, #variety, #dumb, #informed, #leadership
Transcript
dilbert: per your orders, i got input on my project from a variety of people who are dumber and less informed than i am. as you might imagine, the net effect was to make everything worse. boss: are you done? dilbert: i just want to thank you for all the leadership.