Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 27
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 261 - 270 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 08,
2011
Tags doctors, employees, medicines, nice guys, paid less, aggressive jerks, offer raise, testosterone injections, illegal, dangerous, unethical, tiny income, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.
Wednesday October 12,
2011
Tags employees, office workers, worked at home, work tonight, leaving early, work late, business
Transcript
Boss: Leaving early? Dilbert: If you count the two hours I worked at home when I woke up, and the two hours I'll work tonight you'll come out way ahead today. Boss: How will I come out if you do all of that plus work late here?
Tuesday October 25,
2011
Tags big business, meetings, succession plan, awesome and charismatic, replace you, bag of moss
Transcript
CEO: We need a succession plan. I'm so awesome and charismatic that the company would be in trouble if I were to leave. Alice: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not as if you invented anything. We could replace you with a bag of moss. Dilbert: He got quiet. Alice: See? Moss can totally do that.
Wednesday October 26,
2011
Tags big business, business ethics, ceo needs underling, drink industrial sludge, risk of brain worms, drink himself
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO needs an underling to drink our industrial sludge at a press conference to prove it's safe. Asok: Um... is there some reason he doesn't do it himself? Boss: Yes, but I forget the details. It was something about the risk of brain worms.
Thursday October 27,
2011
Tags big business, business ethics, public speaking, spit take, industrial sludge, intern will drink
Transcript
CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.
Friday October 28,
2011
Tags business ethics, illness, industrial sludge, drank, has tail, lower iq points, bright future, quality assurance, marketing, zip line guide, business
Transcript
Dilbert: He's been like this since our CEO made him drink a glass of our industrial sludge at a press conference. It looped a few points off his I.Q., but he's still has a bright future in quality assurance or maybe marketing. And with his new tail he'd be an awesome zip line guide.
Monday October 31,
2011
Tags employees, illness, marketing people, brain heals, drank sludge, brain worm, dead in a week, business
Transcript
Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.
Tuesday November 01,
2011
Tags employees, executives, non giant situation, shoulders of giants, non giant, business
Transcript
CEO: As your CEO, if I have seen farther, it is only because I stood on the shoulders of giants. Plus whatever is going on over here. Dilbert: That's sort of a non-giant situation. Wally: And I haven't had shoulders since I was ten.
Friday November 04,
2011
Tags comparing a task, criticism, employees, executives, quality is bad, your imagination, time, quality, boss, business
Transcript
Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?
Monday November 07,
2011
Tags employees, executives, fought boss, get raise, terrific boss, no credible witnesses, business
Transcript
Boss: I fought with my boss to get you a raise but I lost. I'm always fighting for you behind the scenes. Alice: You're a terrific boss whenever there are no credible witnesses. Boss: Thank you.


