Solving Problem Comic Strips - Page 27

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

392 Results for Solving Problem

View 261 - 270 results for solving problem comic strips. Discover the best "Solving Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality metric, #bid proposals, #magic powers, #sarcastic, #silly, #joke, #serious, #hand paper, #muggles, #harry potter, #men in black

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Your quality metric for next year is to win 30% more bid proposals." Dilbert says, "No problem. I'll use my magic powers to control how much our competitors bid." The Boss says, "I worry that you're not taking this seriously." Dilbert says, "If the muggles find out, I'll wipe their memories."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #moron, #yell, #grab tie, #upset

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "?And I'll need all of that by tomorrow." Coworker says, "No problem. I'll get right on it." Dilbert says, "This is a bad sign. If you were even a little bit competent you would be overloaded with work." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!! I'm putting my trust in a moron!" Coworker says, "Wow. You got there fast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rolling forecast, #worthless, #sarcasm, #meeting, #snork, #laugh, #drink coffee, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I've decided to move to a rolling forecast." Dilbert says, "So, the problem is that forecasts are worthless, and your solution is to do more of them?" Dilbert says, "If my sarcasm is a problem, I can solve that by doing more of it." Wally says, "SNORK"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anonymous online employee survey, #unabomber, #copy, #drink coffee, #worry, #copyright

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Wally, we're concerned about the comments you made on your anonymous employee survey." Catbert says, "Your comments are disturbingly similar to the unabomber's manifesto." Wally says, "He was a good writer." Catbert says, "We have a problem." Wally says, "Is it a copyright thing?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consult, #customer data, #money, #privacy, #real name, #wag tail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Your customer data is worth a fortune." Dogbert says, "I'll find you some buyers if you give me 25%." CEO says, "What about privacy?" Dogbert says, "That's not a problem. I never use my real name."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #desk, #problems, #distractions, #arms out, #mouth open, #yell, #fantasy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Are you running into any problems?" Alice says, "Only the kind that you make worse." The Boss says, "Name one problem that I make worse!" Alice says, "I have too many distractions." The Boss says, "Do you have any problems that aren't like that one?" Alice says, "Only in my fantasies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #monkey, #training, #successor, #groom, #worry, #bug, #eat, #fur, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We have a problem. Our CEO is grooming a winged monkey as his successor." Alice says, "When you say, 'grooming,' I hope you meant training." Monkey says, "I felt something move right here." CEO says, "Ho ho! Last one. I'm stuffed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guilt, #excuse, #lie, #work, #avoiding, #acting

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "The successful work - avoider combines a fake eagerness to help with just a hint of likely failure." Man says, "Wally, I need load calcs in an hour." Wally says, "No problem! Unless my computer keeps crashing like it did all morning." Man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "I am begging you to let me help!" Asok thinks, "Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #explaining, #plan, #delivery, #stuck, #arrow

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I found a less expensive delivery service for our oversees business packages." The boss says, "Find someone who is traveling to the same country as the package, shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, and hide the package under his hat." Carol thinks, "The first day of any new system is always a problem."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #taliban, #hearing, #lying, #emailing, #spam, #toilet

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I don?t do what you ask me to do, it?s because my hearing aid fell in the toilet." The Boss says, "I didn't know you had a hearing problem." Wally says, "EH? WHAT? EH?" Wally says, "You could try e-mailing me, but I have my spam filter cranked up to "Taliban"."