boss on video conference with dilbert and wally.
boss: it's challenging to manage employees who are working remotely.
dilbert sitting in arm chair listening
boss: so i hired a stalker to look in the windows at your homes and tell me what he sees. he lasted on day.
wally sitting in chair wearing shorts and no shirt:
sorry. that's on me.
dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back.
ceo: good work. what do we owe you?
dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.