Catbert Comic Strips - Page 28
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655 Results for Catbert
View 271 - 280 results for Catbert comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 05,
2006
Monday May 14,
2007
Wednesday June 06,
2007
Tags new dress code, consolidating, offcies, 20 people cubicle, impossible, thin film pil, no clothes, bad conditions, worst place work, awards, demoralize, inhumane, horrid conditions
Transcript
Catbert: The new dress code is a thin film of oil. "We're consolidating offices and we need to fit twenty people in each cubicle." Dilbert: "They've pretty much given up on winning one of those awards for best places to work."
Friday June 22,
2007
Tags ignored, coworker, acknowledge existence, uniportant, talking clothes, fretting, mean, anxiety
Transcript
Asok: "Alice, may I ask you a question? Alice? Alice?" Asok: "Gaaa! Am I so unimportant you feel no need to acknowledge my existence???" "Am I totally unimportant?" Catbert: "Hey, it's a bunch of talking clothes!"
Tuesday July 03,
2007
Tags compensation, different classes, segment, paid, relatively unimportant segment
Transcript
CatBert: I decided to segment the compensation of different classes of employees. "You'll be in the segment that gets paid the same no matter what you do." "I call your segment the 'relatively unimportant' segment." Tina: "Catchy."
Saturday July 14,
2007
Tags evil director, human resources, new policy, no d drinking coffee, remove all doubt, policies, evil, honesty, ruining the moment, business
Transcript
Catbert, evil director of human resources Catbert: "Our new policy is no drinking coffee during work." "That should remove all doubt that our policies are designed for any reason other than evil." Dilbert: "Your honesty is refreshing." Catbert: "Stop ruining the moment!!!"
Tuesday July 17,
2007
Tags elbonian divison, do any work, every minute, hidden cameras, randomly fire, evil, buttocks tingle
Transcript
The Boss: My Elbonian division won't do any work unless someone is watching them every minute. Catbert: "Tell them you have hidden cameras." "Then randomly fire one Elbonian per week." The Boss: "Hee-hee! Evil makes my buttocks tingle."
Thursday July 19,
2007
Tags employee orientation, no time, exercise, long hours, trans fat, positive note, payroll dedcution, service, save money, dirt, cubicle, burial site, health
Transcript
Employee Orientation Catbert: "This job will leave you with no time for exercise." "You will work long hours and consume trans fats until you are shaped like this." "On a positive note, our payroll deduction service allows you to save money for dirt to turn your cubicle into a burial site."
Tuesday July 24,
2007
Tags wally refuses, stop eating, noisy snacks, likes salt, more ethan you, kelp, oatmeal
Transcript
Tina: I asked Wally to stop eating noisy snacks in his cubicle but he refuses. Catbert: "That's because he likes salt more than he likes you. We all feel the same way." Tina: "What?" CAtbert: "You're somewhere between oatmeal and kelp."
Sunday June 04,
2000
Tags bikini pics, dismissal, technically, magnetic media, zeros and ones, auditors, 40 gigs of pics
Transcript
Catbert, the Evil H.R. director says to Wally, "Wally, our auditors found 40 gigabits of bikini pictures on your PC." Wally is thinking the same thing. Catbert says to Wally, "That is grounds for dismissal. How do you plead?" Wally thinks to himself, "Innocent. Technically, they didn't find any pictures." Wally says to Catbert, "What they found were zeroes and ones resting harmlessly on magnetic media." Wally continues, "It was the auditors themselves who activated thoe harmless bits to form pictures on the screen." Wally says to Catbert, "I demand that those godless auditors be fired!" Wally also says, "And if it's not too much trouble, I'd like my zeroes and ones back." After Wally's meeting with Catbert, Dilberts asks Wally "Was justice served?" Wally responds, "It's a gray area."


