2020 Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Business Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, lying, context, important, acceptable, sick, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Tina's Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina's Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, laptop computer, project, team, lying, garbage, insult, soul, conscience, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.

Karma Is Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Karma Is Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employment, managers & supervisors, business, team, karma, name, new, team member, hide, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: do you think karma is real? wally: nah. boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma. dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding. karma: i hear one of you has been bad.

Karma And Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Karma And Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, family & parenting, office workers, name, karma, Advice, discuss, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: why did your parents name you karma? karma: i don't have parents. i am karma. wally: i suppose we have lots to discuss. karma: let's start with volume one.

Quotes Out Of Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quotes Out Of Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, business, context, dumb, employment, face mask, malice, managers & supervisors, out of context, project, quote, writing

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

Critics Not Intelligent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Critics Not Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, office workers, employees, smart, critics, agreement, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!

Jumping Out A Window

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jumping Out A Window - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, boss, listen, repeat, jump, window, bluff, reiterate, parachute

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i have to listen to you repeat that same point one more time, i'm going to jump out a window. boss: that sounds like a bluff. dilbert: i packed a parachute. boss: ...anyway, to reiterate... parachuter floating beside building.

No Update Needed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Update Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, assignment, face mask, managers & supervisors, project, robot, sarcasm, technology, update

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: would you like an update on my project? boss: no, not really. i only give you the projects i don't care about. asok: i just lost my will to live. boss: that is exactly why i plan to replace you with a robot.

Robots Will Sneak Up On Us

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robots Will Sneak Up On Us - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argue, business, employees, enginners, managers & supervisors, replace, robots, technology, train

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we aren't yet ready to replace engineers with robots, but that day will sneak up on us. so i'd like all of you to train a robot to do your jobs, just so we are ready. dilbert: you want us to train our own replacements? boss thinking: this is another thing a robot would not argue about.

Proceed As If Nothing Happened

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Proceed As If Nothing Happened - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accomplish, business, face mask, managers & supervisors, office workers, people, project, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.