Best Fund Comic Strips - Page 28

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315 Results for Best Fund

View 271 - 280 results for best fund comic strips. Discover the best "Best Fund" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engagement, #review, #shortcut, #honesty, #human resources, #hr, #business

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Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.

Dilbert In Wrong Meeting

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Dilbert In Wrong Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #awkward, #meeting, #embarrassed, #embarrassment, #business

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Dilbert: I just realized I'm in the wrong meeting. My best bet is to slowly sink below the table and slip away. Someday, when my grandkids ask what I did for a living, I'm going to say I was unemployed.

Topper Signs Document

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Topper Signs Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #one-up, #best, #competition, #deception, #trick, #signature

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Topper. Dilbert: I once signed my entire first name to a document. Topper: That's nothing! Watch me sign my entire full name to that document! Dilbert: Sometimes you can be predictable. Topper: That's nothing! I don't even have free will!

Fairness Is For Kids And Idiots

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Fairness Is For Kids And Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #fair, #fairness, #wages, #equality, #worth, #money

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Dilbert: The new hire gets paid more than me. It isn't fair. Dogbert: Fairness is a concept that was invented so kids and idiots could participate in debates. Dilbert: Hey, that's not fair. Dogbert: The best case scenario here is that you're younger than you look.

Who Wants The Legacy System Job

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Who Wants The Legacy System Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #legacy, #underachiever, #volunteer

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Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

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Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

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Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Culture As An Asset

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Culture As An Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #company, #culture, #motivation, #strategy, #buzzword, #jargon, #business

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Boss: I've been telling employees that our culture is our best asset. Catbert: Do they pretend that makes sense? Boss: Yes, because we have a culture of lying to avoid conflict.

Cyborg Rumors

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Cyborg Rumors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #cyborg, #robot, #employees, #replacement, #deception, #business

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Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.

Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription

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Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #medicine, #excuse, #doctor, #laziness, #medical

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Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.

Alice Tries To Be Interesting

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Alice Tries To Be Interesting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #nap, #sleep, #meetings, #boredom, #narcolepsy, #laziness, #health

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Wally: I have a doctor's note that says I can sleep during meetings. That puts the pressure on you to be interesting enough to keep me awake. Alice: I'll do my best, but... Wally: ZZZZZ.