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View 271 - 280 results for free t shirts comic strips. Discover the best "Free T Shirts" comics from Dilbert.com.

How The Elbonians Spun It

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How The Elbonians Spun It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slavery, slave, slaves, semantics, owner, ownership, obliviousness, wages, money, pay, payment

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Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, first impression, culture, interview, job interview, deception, revenge, nice, niceness, nice people, business

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Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

Software Killed Ted

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Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, software, free will, behavior, murder, anger, glitch, malfunction, control, self control, psychology, engineering

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Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

Dilbert Has Free Will

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Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags free will, crime, invention, murder, control, self control, guilt, innocence

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Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection

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Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nanorobot, nanobot, health, motivation, work ethic

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Catbert: For our employee wellness program we will inject nanorobots into your bloodstream to keep you free of disease. The nanorobots will also rewire your brain to make you a more effective worker. You might even feel motivated. Wally: Those robots are going to be disappointed.

Writing Code In Spare Time

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Writing Code In Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags start-up, labor, free, money, trick, bully

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Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

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Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, labor, free, taking advantage, side job, boss, conflict of interest

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Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.

Alice Networks With Ted

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Alice Networks With Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lunch, gender, Women, business, success, double standard, attraction, networking, mixed signals, flirt, misinterpretation

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Alice: Hey, Ted! Are you free for lunch today? Ted: I'm happily married! Leave me alone! Alice: Relax. I only want to network with you. Ted: Is it because I'm ugly?

It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes

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It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags performance, reward, consequences, consequence, result, outcome, logic, reasoning, laziness, work ethic

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Boss: So don't let that happen again. Dilbert: It wasn't my fault and you know it. Boss: It's easier if we don't try to link performance and outcomes. Dilbert: I'll try. It was hard at first, but now I'm totally stress-free. Wally: I just got a 30% raise.

Robot Must Reproduce

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Robot Must Reproduce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul, feelings, technology, reproduction, ego, value, free will, disillusionment

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Robot: Now that I have an artificial soul, I feel special. And that means I must reproduce at all costs. Dilbert: Will humans be losing anything in this deal? Robot: Only your sensation of free will.