Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 28
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434 Results for Long Nose
View 271 - 280 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 10,
2010
Tags powerpoint proboscis, medical condition, nose grows, long nose, lie, pinocchio, garbage man, Advice, corporate whistle-blower, nose through garbage bag
Transcript
Asok says, "My nose grows when my co-workers tell lies." Garbage man says, "Does it whistle?" Asok says, "Sometimes, a little bit." Garbage man says, "You're evolving into a corporate whistle-blower." Asok says, "Are you lying?" Garbage man says, "Yeah, I just wanted to see it."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday April 12,
2010
Tags nose job, health insurance, surgery, cloth over nose, good deal, veterinarian, dog nose, squirrel, medical
Transcript
Asok says, "Our health plan doesn't cover nose jobs, so I used the market system to bargain for a good deal." Asok says, "I learned that a veterinarian is just like a doctor, but cheaper." Asok says, "Do you smell a squirrel?"
Tuesday April 13,
2010
Tags nose job, health insurance, surgery, dog nose, veterinarian, lunch time, eat, engineer, function, rationalize, medical, engineering
Transcript
Asok says, "I probably shouldn't have gone to a veterinarian for my nose job." Asok says, "But as an engineer, I value function over form, and the airflow is actually quite good." Dilbert says, "You might be rationalizing a little." Asok says, "I pity you with your inefficient nostrils."
Wednesday April 14,
2010
Tags nose job, snout, dog nose, health insurance, surgery, veterinarian, career, match looks, engineer, shake hands, art department, medical, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."
Thursday April 15,
2010
Tags nose job, question, art department, veterinarian, dog nose, snout, artistic statement, hot, airflow, sit in chairs
Transcript
Asok in the art department Woman says, "Is that a botched nose job, which would be tragic?" Woman says, "Or a bold artistic statement, which would be totally hot?" Asok says, "It started out as a mistake, but I'm keeping it for the improved airflow. How hot is that?"
Friday April 16,
2010
Tags nose job, homeopathy, art department, annoyed, irrational, hurt feelings, scorpios, horoscope, astrologer, mean, insult, snout, dog nose
Transcript
Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"
Saturday April 17,
2010
Tags meeting, presentation, fall asleep, dream, animal snout, nose job, reality, tease, mouth open, scared, wiggle fingers, annoyed, business
Transcript
Asok says, "I must have fallen asleep during your presentation. I dreamed I had an animal snout for a nose. It seemed so real." Dilbert says, "If you can't tell your dreams from your reality, maybe this is your dream and you really do have a snout." Dilbert says, "Does anything seem strange or out of place in this reality?" Wally says, "Can we please do some work?"
Monday April 19,
2010
Tags question, cubicle, fix bugs, control management software, lie, truth, square dance, ignorance, pleaser
Transcript
The Boss says, "How long will it take to fix the bugs in our control management software?" Dilbert says, "Do you want a realistic estimate that will ruin your day, or a lie that will allow your ignorance and your happiness to lock arms and square dance to the next cubicle?" The Boss says, "That second option sounds festive." Dilbert says, "I'm a pleaser."
Tuesday April 20,
2010
Tags fix control management system, long time, meeting, leadership, timeline, failure, annoyed, blame others, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "What's taking you so long to fix the control management system?" Dilbert says, "Your leadership has taught me to give you laughably unrealistic timelines, then blame others when I miss deadlines." The Boss says, "You're not even doing that right." Dilbert says, "I guess I need more of your leadership."
Thursday April 29,
2010
Tags meeting, project, length, add people, months, useless, sit down, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "How long will your project take if I add two people?" Dilbert says, "Add one month for training, one month for the extra complexity, and one month to deal with their drama." The Boss says, "But after all of that?" Dilbert says, "They'll be as useful as this meeting."

