Marketing Network Comic Strips - Page 28

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326 Results for Marketing Network

View 271 - 280 results for marketing network comic strips. Discover the best "Marketing Network" comics from Dilbert.com.

Embellishing Resume At Work

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Embellishing Resume At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #self-promotion, #embellishment, #managers

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Boss: One of my employees keeps embellishing his accomplishments. CEO: If he works in engineering, fire him. If he works in marketing, promote him. Boss: He doesn't work at all. CEO: Sounds like you have a leader on your hands.

Brainstorm With Other Engineers

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Brainstorm With Other Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #product design, #managers, #marketing, #simplicity, #complication, #inventions, #ideas, #business

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Boss: Our marketing people tell me your double-handed coffee mug could be a huge seller. Brainstorm with the other engineers and see if it needs more features. Wally: Do you have any other ideas for ruining the product, or should I focus on that one?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #tagline, #marketing, #advertising, #ad, #ads, #impossible, #business

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Boss: We need a tagline for our new product. It should be no more than three words. It should convey an emotion. And it should clearly explain everything the product does. Dilbert: In three words? Boss :I didn't say it would be easy. Nike accomplished all of that with "Just do it." Dilbert: Did they? Because that seems like a generic thing you can say in any situation. Boss: Just do it! Alice: How about "Keep doing it?" Is that one taken?

Alice Should Network With Men

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Alice Should Network With Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #sexism, #Women, #sexist, #attraction, #success, #glass ceiling

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CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.

Alice Networks With Ted

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Alice Networks With Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #lunch, #gender, #Women, #business, #success, #double standard, #attraction, #networking, #mixed signals, #flirt, #misinterpretation

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Alice: Hey, Ted! Are you free for lunch today? Ted: I'm happily married! Leave me alone! Alice: Relax. I only want to network with you. Ted: Is it because I'm ugly?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #techspeak, #nonsense, #bluff, #deception, #conversation, #language

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Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.

Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing

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Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #strategy, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Boss: The employees who took your class on negotiating are complaining that they learned nothing. Dogbert: I heart those same employees scheming to vandalize your network. Boss: Now that's all I can think about! How did you do that? Dogbert: Gotta go.

Being More Honest

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Being More Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #advertising, #honesty, #cover-up, #performance, #shortcoming, #business

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Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.

Network Is Slow

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Network Is Slow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bandwidth, #network, #speed, #nsfw, #videos, #internet, #technology

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Boss: Why is our network so slow today? Dilbert: I'll check. Okay, it seems that 75 percent of the staff is viewing inappropriate videos. Boss: That's all I wanted to do, too.