Own Email Comic Strips - Page 28

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View 271 - 280 results for own email comic strips. Discover the best "Own Email" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #improve communication, #imitates boss, #business

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Man: I called this meeting so I could tell you the division's goals for next year. Alice: Thats a good idea because we're all so dumb that we coldly possibly read this in email. Goal one: Improve communication. ALiceL I can't. Im too dumb.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #five projects, #deliverables, #motivational email, #slacker, #coffee cup

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Wally: Is it okay if I take on five new projects and ten deliverables? The Boss: um....okay. My motivational email messages are working, Alice: Can you help... Wally: whoa! don't know how many projects I have?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clarification, #assignment, #jeudgement, #invite calamity, #good parts, #forever damned

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Dilbert: I need clarification on my assignment. Dilbert: Should I use my own judgement and be forever damned if things go badly? Or should I sue your advice and invite certain calamity? the bossL both plans have good parts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enterprise software, #premium package, #friendly user, #economy option, #cheap one, #never had girlfreind, #adult website, #romantic invitations, #100 percent

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Our enterprise software comes in two flavors. The premium package boats a friendly user interface. The economy option does the same stuff but the interface is designed to ruin your life. we'll take the cheap one. I can tell by the ay you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend. I'll send romantic invitations to al the pope on the email address list. Dont worry - i"lll us etc text that I would on a great adult website. when I said that you need to give a hundred percent I shut have been more specific.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #socially obvious, #social defect., #change topic

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Dogbert: welcome to dogcarts school for the socially oblivious. Today I'll pair with someone whose social defect will cancel out your own, woman: GAAA!! I keep trying to tap about my l=kids and you keep changing the topic to your self! Because Im fascinating.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #still alive, #deadly plot, #own fault, #afford enetertainment

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Carol: You're still alive?? How can the sbe?? The Boss: What? Carol: Nothing! Never Mind! I don't know anything about a deadly plot! Its his own fault for not paying me enough to afford entertainment. Alice ; good one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #face on cows butt, #morale, #objects, #off color jokes, #photoshopped

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The boss: "Alice, you've ben accused of forwarding off-color jokes by e-mail." The Boss: "Do you object to the increase in morale or the nickel it cost the company so far?" "I object to my face being photoshopped to a cow's butt." Alice: "You object to art?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off color email, #75 poeple, #thought funny, #one compalined, #punished, #sensible, #punish complainer

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: "I understand that you forwarded an off-color e-mail to many people." "Seventy-Five people thought it was funny but one person complained, so you must be punished." "Wouldn't it make more sense to punish the freak who complained?" "Do I look sensible?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walgetco, #practical purposes, #legal laibilities, #wear orange vests, #headwaurters

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"Sixty-percent of our distribution goes through Walgetco." "For all practical purposes, they now own us, except for the legal liabilities." "They'd like us to wear orange vests and bow toward their headquarters." "But no touching?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #own stock, #black berry, #dumps hares, #spiked, #profit, #buy a helicopter

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Tv stock analyst Do you own stock in the company you recommended? No, I used my blackberry ti dump my shares as soon as they spiked front my recommendation. This is very wrong now I'm using the profit to buy a helicopter.