Paid Per Rumor Comic Strips - Page 28

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277 Results for Paid Per Rumor

View 271 - 277 results for paid per rumor comic strips. Discover the best "Paid Per Rumor" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Statue In The Lobby

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New Statue In The Lobby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #criminal, #tech support, #darned, #good, #report

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The Boss: Where's the career criminal I hired to do tech support? He was last seen talking to you. Alice: Rumor has it that someone murdered him, covered him in with-out and tried to pass him off as a statue in the lobby. Dilbert: I would report this if it did't look so darned good here.

Keeping The Worthless People

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Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #salary, #incompetence

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Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.

Robot Coparents

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Robot Coparents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #marriage, #Parenting, #robot, #shocked, #humans, #rumor

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Asok: Is it true you married a human woman and she gave birth to a cyborg? Robot: No, that's a ridiculous rumor. Asok: Oh, good. Robot: We're co-parenting. We never got married.

It Already Works

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It Already Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #phone, #nuclear

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office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.

Service Human And Pay

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Service Human And Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #abuse, #business, #office, #office workers, #service, #payment

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the boss: i'm hearing that you are abusing your service human. the boss: i don't think you pay him enough for that. service human: wait. i'm suppose to get paid for this??? dogbert: great. now you've ruined him!

Encouraging Smoking

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Encouraging Smoking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #smoking, #turnover, #breaks

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dibert, the boss and ask at conference table. the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking. the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day. dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks. the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.