Second Guess Comic Strips - Page 28
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Boss: Thank you for that two-hour summary of your project. I didn't understand any of the jargon you used, but based on the context, I believe you are saying the software will be done soon. Alice: I didn't say anything about software. Boss: I guess neither of us did our best work today.
Dilbert: Yesterday I asked for clarification on my assignment. But your clarification sounded nothing like the original assignment. Boss: Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. Dilbert: Not from the same person.
Asok: Can you mentor me on how to be successful? Wally: Your best strategy is a combination of lying and being related to rich people. Asok: What is the second-best strategy? Wally: Crime is second. Winning a lottery is third.
Dilbert: Do you have any feedback on my idea? Man: Yes. You're weak and stupid, and everyone you love will end up in jail. Dilbert: Do you spend a lot of time on Twitter? Man: Is that a lucky guess or are you spying on me?
Boss: Everyone says you hate the new product test plan. Dilbert: No, I like it. Boss: Pffft. I don't think all of those people can be wrong about what you think. Dilbert: I'm kind of an expert on what I think. Boss: I guess it's just your word against everyone.
Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.
i approved your technology proposal. dilbert: i made that proposal six months ago. now everything has changed and it no longer makes sense. the boss: well, i guess i was smart to wait. dilbert: the less you do, the better.
the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.