Sign Stuff Comic Strips - Page 28

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330 Results for Sign Stuff

View 271 - 280 results for sign stuff comic strips. Discover the best "Sign Stuff" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #loneliness, #accomplishments, #job interview, #hnesty, #wrong motives, #employment, #make a difference, #catatonic

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Boss: Describe your biggest accomplishment from your last job. Interviewee: I made some phone calls and stuff. I think I made a difference. Boss: Do you want this job? Interviewee: Nah. Just lonely.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #investor meeting, #emailed, #powerpoint slide, #dumbed down, #technical stuff, #non engineers, #it be good, #no questions, #business

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Dilbert: I emailed you the PowerPoint slide for your investor meeting. I dumbed down the technical stuff for you non-engineers. Boss: "Technology: It Be Good." Dilbert: I wouldn't take questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #non disclosure agreement, #disbelief, #wrong person, #mighty judgy, #so many secrets

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Man: I need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we start. Wally: We don't need that because no one believes a word I say anyway. Man: Maybe I'm meeting with the wrong person. Wally: You're mighty judgy for a guy with so many secrets.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new idea, #dream, #3d glasses, #for real life, #people love 3d, #not movies, #obvious, #ideas

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CEO: Last night, an idea for a new product came to me in a dream. Dilbert: ICK CEO: 3-D Glasses. Dilbert: To watch movies? CEO: No, real life. Dilbert: So...The glasses would make life in general appear three-dimensional? CEO: Exactly! People Love 3-D Stuff. Dilbert: Im not going to respond to your idea. Im just going to sit here looking three-dimensional. CEO: wait....how are you doing that? Dilbert: Im wearing glasses that make me look 3-D

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious

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CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anecdotal evidence, #curiosity, #metaphors, #sayings, #nimble intellect, #compelling, #curiosity killed cat

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Dilbert: They say curiosity is a sign of a nimble intellect. Boss: Curiosity killed the cat. Dilbert: That evidence was anecdotal, but I still found it compelling.

Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert

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Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor mill, #rumors, #freak accident, #naked, #vacuuming, #spread rumors, #coffee machine, #gossip, #office, #self preservation

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Tina: I heard you had a freak accident while vacuuming your house naked. Dilbert: That's a rumor. I don't know how that stuff spreads. Tina: Now I feel a little bad that I told thirty people.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arguing, #personal business, #work ethic, #work load, #work call, #payment, #time management, #handled arguement, #bodd, #employee, #repremand, #money

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Boss: That doesn't sound like a work call. Carol: It isn't I don't have time to do my personal stuff on my own time. I have to do it on work time. Boss: I pay you to do work stuff, not personal stuff. Carol: Then how would I get all of my personal stuff done? Boss: That's not my problem. Carol: Then why did you bring it up. Boss: Because I need you to do work. Carol: I told you I can't get all of my personal stuff done if I do your work! Boss: Okay, okay. I probably could have handled that better.

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #evil, #frustration, #product designer, #torture, #hate people, #styrofoam debris, #invisible buttons

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Dogbert: I decided to become a product designer because I hate people. I will fill every package with styrofoam debris and affix hard-to-remove stickers all over the cases. I'll make the buttons invisible by making them black on a black surface. Ha ha ha! Dilbert: I've always wondered how this stuff happens.

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #form, #function, #product design, #product designer, #selfishness, #portfolio

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.