Talk Comic Strips - Page 28

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368 Results for Talk

View 271 - 280 results for talk comic strips. Discover the best "Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Does Economic Babble Talk

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Wally Does Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bitcoins, confusion, conversation, economics, jargon, success, the fed

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Wally: Do you think The Fed should liquidate its Bitcoins or let the dollar float with Libor rates? Boss: Maybe we could just sit quietly until the others arrive. Wally: Success.

Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk

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Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, babble, economics, obliviousness, economist, economy, hiring

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Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, distractions, frustration, futility, meeting, meetings, stress, walk, walking, phone calls, email, Sports, business

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Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

App For Hiring Decisions

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App For Hiring Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mansplaining, tech, programmers, coders, interview, hiring, stereotype

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Boss: No need to talk. Now we use an app to make hiring decisions. The app checked your online footprint and says you're a serial mansplainer with an unsuccessful dating history. I assume that means you have awesome technical skills. Interviewee: Full stack!

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, jokes, joking, assume, assumptions, offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

Doomed Smartwatch Project

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Doomed Smartwatch Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analogy, obliviousness, assignment, technology, invention, watch, failure

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Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!

Advice

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Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ego, talking, conversation, Advice, insult, insulting, suggestion

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Coworker: Do you want some advice? Dilbert: Nope. Advice is just ego and ignorance disguised as helpfulness. Coworker: Then how will I hear myself talk? Dilbert: The supply cabinet has an awesome echo.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

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Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walking, meeting, meetings, accident, difficult, gimmick, manager, idea, ideas, distraction, Sports, business

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Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing

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Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags small talk, conversation, criticism, executives, salary, wages, fairness, offense, offend, money

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Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.

Alice Should Network With Men

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Alice Should Network With Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch-22, sexism, Women, sexist, attraction, success, glass ceiling

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CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.