2005 Comic Strips - Page 28
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Character
Wednesday September 28,
2005
Thursday September 29,
2005
Friday September 30,
2005
Saturday October 01,
2005
Tags Catbert, softening up, employee satisfaction survey, fire them, purring
Transcript
Catbert: The employee satisfaction survey says they don't trust management. "Don't worry. I'll find out who feels that way and fire them during the next retrenchment." "Purr? Who said purr?"
Sunday October 02,
2005
Tags negative commentray, blog, fire, freedom of speech, our founding fathers, spitting on graves, not good work, final paycheck
Transcript
"Ted, you've been saying negative things about the company in your personal blog. We have to fire you." "I have freedom of speech. It's my constitutional right to say whatever I want." "If you fire me for my opinions, you'll be spitting on the graves of our founding fathers." "I'll get the best lawyer that money can't buy, and fight you all the way to the Supreme Court!" "The only way you can legally fire me is if my work isn't good." "Ooh. I probably said too much here." "Your work isn't good. Here's your final paycheck." "Stupid founding fathers."
Monday October 03,
2005
Tags boss appt., cancel later, give appt, combing his knuckles
Transcript
"I need five minutes on the pointy-haired boss' calendar." "No can do." "If I give you an appointment, I'll just have to cancel it later when something more important comes up." "What's he doing now?" "Combing his knuckles."
Tuesday October 04,
2005
Tags no meetings, create work, canceled them, drop in
Transcript
"Carol, why don't I have any meetings today?" "Your meetings create work for me, so I canceled them." "Maybe I could drop in on some people." "Harpoon."
Wednesday October 05,
2005
Tags harpoon, ass, secretary, donut eating, remove, annual review
Transcript
"It's a harpoon. I see a lot of this." "It's caused by a combination of doughnut-eating and agitating a secretary." "Can you remove it?" "Yes, but it will just come back at Annual Review time."
Thursday October 06,
2005
Tags faq for wedsite, anticipate questions, questionaire
Transcript
I hired Mr. Dogbert to write the F.A.Q. for our web site. "The key is to anticipate our customers' most likely questions." "Question 1: Where does your CEO live? I need to know so I can throw your cruddy project through his biggest window."
Friday October 07,
2005
Tags wites to website, eating toast, file open, stupidest question
Transcript
Dogbert writes a F.A.Q. for the company web site "Question 8: Why won't my file open when I'm eating toast?" "Answer 8: That is the stupidest question ever! Do not have children!" "I sure hope someone asks that question."


