2007 Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 2 hours late, work late, alleged loyalty, company loyalty

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Wally, it's ten o'clock. You're supposed to start at eight." Wally: "That's because I plan to work for two unverifiable hours after you leave tonight." "My alleged loyalty to this company is second to none."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pretending, loyal, try to appear, more loyal, couldn't be more

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: "Wally, your choice of words leads us to think you are only pretending to be loyal to the company." wally: "Sorry. I'll try to appear more loyal in the future." CAtbert: "You did it again." Wally: "Don't be silly. I couldn't be more loyal."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carpet fishing, devised a game, computer, string, randomly picks location, hooked fish marlin, salmon, killing time, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "What are you doing?" Dilbert: "Carpet fishing." "It's a sport I invented." "I divided the carpet in my cubicle into a numbered grid." "Then I wrote a computer program that randomly picks a carpet location and a type of fish about once an hour." "If it picks the carpet location where I happen to be dangling this string, it means I hooked a fish." "Yesterday I caught a marlin." "Did you come here for some reason other than to spoil the salmon run?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags six months, task, simple task, continuous cahnges, unclear communication, short work days, being lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Why did it take six months to complete this simple task?" Dilbert: "Because of your continuous changes, your unclear communication, and your short work days." The boss: "I'm looking for something more along the lines of you being lazy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hired sadits, thin th herd, looks slow

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I hired a sadist. Dilbert: Why? Th boss: I'll be using you her to thin the heard. Dilbert: Herd? Sadist: That one looks slow. The Boss: That all look like that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sadist, worthless, overpaid, immune, underpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

The Sadist Vs. Wally Sadist: You are worthless and overpaid! Wally: Thank you. Sadist: Hes immune to my sadism. Wally: So, whats int like being underpaid?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vacation time, off next week, cures eyou, so much work, die! relieve stress, unsupportive

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Remember to use all of your vacation time before year end." Asok: "I'm off next week." The Boss: "What! I curse you for taking time off when we have so much work to do! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" "Anyway, the point is that vacations help relieve your stress."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quadrupled workload, hom early, battlestar galactica, sandwhich, envy vactionless

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I quadrupled my workload to finish projects before I go on vacation. Dilbert: "I'm going home early to watch Battlestar Galactica on my DVR." "I might eat a nice sandwich!" Asok: "Must...Not...Envy...The vacationless."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags powerpoint presentation, confused jumble, information, winos spittle, unsupported conclusions

View Transcript

Transcript

CO Worker: "Did you look at my powerpoint presentation?" Dilbert: "Yes, it's a confused jumble of useless information with a wino's spittle of unsupported conclusions." Coworker: "Wino's spittle?" Dilbert: "You heard me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mandatory meeting, health and well being, theme of meeting, healthy employees are unprodcutive, exercsing, eating fruit, work hard and die, feel sick, right on schedule

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tomorrow is the mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being. "The meeting starts at 6 A.M. So it will interfere with your sleep and not your work." Dilbert: "Doesn't that send a message that work is more important than health?" The Boss: "I hope so. That's the theme of the meeting." "Healthy employees are unproductive." "They're always exercising or eating fruit when they should be working." "We prefer employees who work hard and die before their pensions start paying out." Dilbert: "Suddenly I feel sick." The Boss: "Right on schedule!"