Help Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

424 Results for Help

View 271 - 280 results for help comic strips. Discover the best "Help" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags filing system, reorganized files, stress is gone, lulu, meeting, boss, Dilbert, business

View Transcript

Transcript

LULU: My project was in a death spiral. I leapt into action and reorganized my filing system. The Boss: Did that help? LULU: My stress is gone!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, confronts lulu, dilbert confronts lulu, huge crisis, series of crisises, smite, static guard, god softening

View Transcript

Transcript

LULU: come help me on this assignment. Its a huge crisis! Dilbert: LULU, DO you very wonder why your life is a series of crises? LULU: I assume god is softening me up before smiting me. Dilbert: excuse me while I put on my static guard.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags male brain, treat like dirt, good personalities, overated, getting hot

View Transcript

Transcript

Ming says to Dilbert, "Help me understand the male brain, Dilbert." Ming asks Dilbert, "I treat you like dirt and you ask me out on a date?" Dilbert replies, "Good personalities are overrated." Ming responds, "You're getting me all hot over here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags melt polar ice caps, doom humanity, part of humanity, marketing, help destroy planet, free t shirts, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Carol, "This product would melt the polar ice caps and doom humanity." Carol replies, "That's okay." Dilbert says, "You're a part of humanity." Carol answers, "No, I'm in marketing." Dilbert says to Carol, "I won't help you destroy the planet." Carol answers, "That's what I said until I saw the free T-shirts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags generic self help, consultant, keep a journal, lead by example, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help remind you, what would dogbert do?, bumper sticker, wwdd, sticker, ratbert, ask yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting on the arm of a chair Catbert says to Ratbert, "Always ask yourself, what would Dogbert doe?" Catbert says holding a sticker, "This bumper sticker will help remind you." Ratbert replies, "Gimme." Ratbert places the bumper sticker over his eyes and attempts to walk. Catbert says, "Umm...I wouldn't do that." Ratbrt replies, "You really should try it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags future me, came to help, project, miserable, sewerage, got bad assignments

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and the future Dilbert are at the Boss's office. Dilbert tells the Boss: "A future me built a time machine and came to help on my project." The future Dilbert tells the Boss: "Hello, you miserable pile of solid sewerage." The future Dilbert turns to Dilbert and says: "You always got bad assignments after today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags more work, fewer people, future version, via time machine, porject, unmotivated

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells the Boss: "As requested, I came up with a plan for doing more work with fewer people." He points to a picture of a contraption: "A future version of me will arrive via time machine to help on the project..." He continues: "...unless you say something now that makes me unmotivated."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hired psychologust, handle stress, another engineer, freaking quack, outburst from alice

View Transcript

Transcript

At a meeting, the Boss tells the employees: "I hired a psychologist to help you handle stress." Alice says angrily: "We need another engineer not a freakin' quack!!" The Boss turns to the psychologist and asks him: "Is there a pill for that?" The psychologist replies: "I took it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cynics annonymous, fluorescent lights, higher power, naive optimism, perfect emplyee

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert tells Dilbert: "Dilbert, you've become too aware of reality. I'm sending you to 'Cynics Anonymous.'" Catbert continues: "A higher power will help you regain the naive optimism that once made you a perfect employee." Dilbert says: "Why can't the higher power change me while I'm sitting here?" Catbert answers: "Fluorescent lights block his power."