Start Fliting Comic Strips - Page 28

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283 Results for Start Fliting

View 271 - 280 results for start fliting comic strips. Discover the best "Start Fliting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #introduce, #new employee, #odyssey, #bud, #vice-versa, #week

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to introduce the new guy to everybody." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." The Boss walks away thinking, "This way I never have to learn their names." Dilbert tells the new guy, "The first stop on our odyssey is Bud." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Bud, this is the new guy, and vice versa." The new guy smiles. Bud looks up from the newspaper and says, "What's this?! Another pink-bottomed, Ivy League, management 'trainee'?!" Bud shouts, "In MY day, you had to start at the bottom . . . And by golly, you STAYED there!!" The new guy asks, "How long have you worked here?" Bud replies, "A week . . . This happens pretty quickly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sweat, #bugs, #alone, #pen, #mind, #weird, #entire, #body, #shaved, #levitate

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The caption says, "When you're alone, you start thinking weird thoughts." Dilbert sits in his desk chair thinking, "Do bugs sweat?" The caption says, "The longer you're alone, the weirder it gets." Dilbert holds a pen in his palm and thinks, "I can levitate this pen with my mind." The caption says, "Don't stay alone too long." Dilbert sits in his house thinking, "How would it feel if I shaved my entire body."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #cost, #sending, #budgeting, #married, #kid, #price, #living, #modern, #society, #cave, #hunt, #bison

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "The cost of sending a child to college is rising so quickly . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . We need to start budgeting now, in case I ever get married and have a kid." Dogbert says, "I guess that's the price for living in a modern society." Dilbert says, "In the meantime, we'll have to live in a cave and hunt bison."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #secrets, #Men, #dumb, #model, #hint, #boyfriend, #killer, #saturday, #woman, #dating

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The strip is titled, "The secrets of men. A guide for women." The caption says, "Women wonder why men say dumb things to start conversations." Dilbert asks a woman, "Are you a model?" The caption says, "Why can't men take a hint?" The woman replies, "No, but my boyfriend is a killer." The caption says, "Why are men so thick?" Dilbert asks, "Are you free Saturday?" The caption says, "Why are excuses useless?" The woman replies, "I have to wash my goldfish." Dilbert asks, "How about Sunday?" The caption says, "Why don't men understand the word no?" The woman says, "No no no no no no . . ." Dilbert asks, "What are you trying to say?" The caption says, "Men know why they act like that:" Dilbert and the woman look at each other. The caption says, ". . . Sometimes it works." Dilbert and the woman walk into the sunset holding hands.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #scientist, #anti-defamation, #league, #stereotypes, #projector, #enthusiasm, #crowd

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Scientist: I'd like to start our "scientist anti-defamation league," meeting with a film about stereotypes. Do we have a volunteer to run the projector? Crowd: Me me me me me me me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #shopping, #nerdstrom, #compile family, #complimentary, #guarantee, #nice

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Dilbert walks into a store called Nerdstrom. A salesclerk says to Dilbert, "Hi, I'm Larry, and I'll be your personal shopping assistant." The salesman opens a measuring tape and says, "I'll start by measuring you, then I'll do your colors, then compile a brief family history for our records." The salesman continues, "Complimentary food and beverages will be served, and a masseuse is on call." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a new pen . . . Maybe something in a Bic." The man says, "I recommend the blue. We guarantee it for life." Dilbert says, "Yes, this will do nicely." Back at home, Dogbert asks, "Was it expensive?" Dilbert replies, "Fortunately, I qualified for their identured servant plan."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #numbers, #divisable, #instance, #boring, #sarcasm

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The caption says, "How to be a boring person." Dogbert faces the reader and says, "Our fist demonstration is called 'listing things because you can.'" Dilbert says, "I like the numbers that are divisable by two . . . For instance four . . . And ten . . . And sixteen and eight . . . And twelve . . . And, uh . . . Forty . . . And ten, or did I already say ten?" Dogbert says, "Now act confused and start over, using your fingers as if that helps." Dilbert says, "Okay, four . . . And ten . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brainella, #smart, #intimidated, #dated, #woman, #outfit, #best

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Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #straight, #bad, #grammar, #intellectuals

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Let me get this straight . . . You say that BAD grammar can become GOOD grammar over time?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. If a bunch of intellectuals start using a word wrong, then it becomes proper in common usage." Dogbert says, "Grammar would be a lot less confusing if we had smarter intellectuals."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #gloat, #rock, #perfume, #decadent, #life, #desires

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Okay then, suppose you had everything you wanted. What would you do?" Dogbert answers, "Gloat. Make everybody else feel like failures. Live a garish and decadent life." Dilbert asks, "And when that gets boring?" Dogbert replies, "Maybe start my own perfume company."