2008 Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags represent boss, imitate hair style, mocking, silly, anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: My boss sent me to represent him at this meeting. Fuh-fuh-fuh everything costs too much. Fuh-fuh-fuh we don't have enough resources! Ted: That doesn't help us. Alice: Hey, I'm not the one who invited him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags preventer of info systems, authorized, illegal access, zap

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac, the preventer of information services Mordac: Do you know how the system distinguishes between authorized and illegal access? ZAP! Mordac: It doesn't." "ha ha!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project, customer calls, can't deliver on time, features needed, getting waterboarded, birthday, price went up

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My project is on hold. Do you need any help on yours? Alice: Sure. Call these customers and tell them we can't deliver on time or with the features they need. Dilbert: Do you have any tasks that don't feel like getting waterboarded on your birthday? Alice: And tell them the price went up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job interview, candidate, punched boss, whats needed, boss hater

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Alice, I want you to interview a job candidate. Let me know what you think. Alice: Why did you leave your last job? candidate: I punched my boss. Alice: He's exactly what we need."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffe maker, aggressive, machine, contraption, big, metal, fierce, ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You must be the new coffee machine. Thoop! It's aggressive, but I like that in my coffee makers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee maker, meeting, not enough money, raise, too much, budget, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I'd like to give you a raise but I used the entire budget on a new coffee maker. It's a nice one.There's talk that I paid too much for you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dont know, fail test, it is what it is, security audit, developers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The security audit accidentally locked all of the developers out of the system. The Boss: Well. It is what it is. Dilbert: How does that help? The Boss: You don't know what you don't know. Dilbert: Congratulations. You're the first human to fail the turing test. The Boss: What does that mean?Um... Dilbert: It is what it is? The Boss: Why didn't you say that in the first place?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags predictable, sneezed, fighting predictability, predicts sneeze

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert says I'm predictable. Am I predictable? Catbert: Gesundheit in advance. The Boss: Must...Control sneeze. Must...Not be...predictable." "Mroomph!" Catbert: Yesterday I drew a picture of what this would look like."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illusion of value, meeting, obvious, maintain illusion, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It's obvious what I need to do next. But I'll let you tell me so you can maintain the illusion of value. The Boss: stop being this way. Dilbert: I saw that coming a mile away."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags date, stories of woe, no tv or internet, carving canoe, woman runs out

View Transcript

Transcript

My cable system wasn't working last night. I didn't have TV or internet. Dilbert: So I stared at the wall until it was time for bed. I considered carving a canoe out of a tree trunk, but it seemed like a lot of work. Woman: Check!"