Always A Troll Comic Strips - Page 28
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343 Results for Always A Troll
View 271 - 280 results for always a troll comic strips. Discover the best "Always A Troll" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 09,
2014
Tags cruelty, temporary credentials, webservices, ritual shaming, engineer, public shaming, poison the well, credibility, healthy place, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you show me how to set up temporary credentials for our web services? Alice: Only if you are prepared for your ritual shaming. Dilbert: Yes, always. Alice: Okay, here it goes. What kind of engineer doesn't know how to set up temporary credentials? Ha ha ha ha! I will tell this story for years! Hey, everyone! Guess what Dilbert doesn't know! That should be enough to poison your well of credibility. Dilbert: This isn't a healthy place. Alice: Then why do I feel so alive?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday February 15,
2014
Tags crimes, revenge, difficult co workers, jerks, jar of polonium, deal with difficulty, office, Politics, registered, dog, stool, animals
Transcript
Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to deal with difficult co-workers. Jerks will always be jerks. Your only hope is to kill them in ways that are untraceable. Boss: We need to talk. Dogbert: Each of you got a jar of polonium when you registered.
Monday February 17,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, sleeping & waking up, get up at 4am, successful people do, power nap, sound sbetter, than looks, business
Transcript
Boss: I got up at 4 a.m. because I heard it's what successful people do. Power nap! Wally: This sort of thing always sounds better than it looks.
Monday March 03,
2014
Tags business people, managers & supervisors, holacarcy, underlings, abusing for years, boot on neck, resistance to changes, business
Transcript
CEO: I'm eliminating all management levels and making us a holacracy. Boss: Noooo!!! Please don't make me equal to the underlings I've been abusing for years! In my defense, I thought I would always have my boot on your neck. Dilbert: Shush.
Thursday April 24,
2014
Tags Advice, friendship, remember, memory, dressed as clown, funerals, told everyone, keep things light, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: Experts say I can improve my likeability by showing that I remember things that people have told me. For example, there was the time you said you always go to funerals dressed as a clown to keep things light. Ted: I never said that! Dilbert: Are you sure? I told everyone you did.
Monday June 16,
2014
Tags efficiency experts, wide transformation, compettetive, solutions, pay the most, consultants, recommendations
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has recommended a company-wide transformation to make us more competitive. Dilbert: Is it a coincidence that consultants always recommend solutions that pay their firms the most? Boss: How would I know? Dogbert: I'll look into that for you.
Thursday August 21,
2014
Tags employee fringe benefits, google, free food, bus service, massages, smart, ambitious people, earplugs
Transcript
Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.
Saturday August 23,
2014
Saturday November 15,
2014
Dogbert The Third Ceo
Tags business tactics, ceos, executives, co ceo, third ceo, tiebreaker, fired, disagreement, new guy
Transcript
CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.
Tuesday December 16,
2014
Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is
Tags financial advisor, investing, money, stock market, swindling, convertible notes, preferred stock, call options, career ambition, ginat mosquito
Transcript
Financial Advisor. Advisor: Convertible notes... preferred stock... municipal bonds... covered call options. These are things you can never hope to understand. So trust me and try to forget that my only career ambition is to drain your account like a giant mosquito. Boss: That sounds reasonable. Advisor: I'm always surprised at how easy this is.