Computer Software Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

870 Results for Computer Software

View 271 - 280 results for computer software comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, engineer, worst user interface, click, sell social security number, overhead view of cubicle, technology, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mordac, preventer of information services, upgrade computer, vampire, evil smile, panic, caveman, complain, costumes

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac the Preventer of Information Services Mordac says, "It's time for your operating system upgrade." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't! My CMS software won't work with the new operating system. I'll be a technology have-not!" The Boss says, "It's never good when they wear costumes to complain." Dilbert says, "Ooga"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer problem, human error, stupid, mock, cabbage

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Was it human error?" Dilbert says, "I doubt it" Dilbert says, "No human would be that stupid. My best guess is that a cabbage got access to your computer." The Boss says, "Cabbbages can't use computers." Dilbert says, "Can they tell when they're being mocked?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags matrix management, neo, earbuds, ipod, computer, powerpoint, die, scared, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "This is where you jack into matrix management, Neo." Wally says, "Insert these iPod ear buds and fire up PowerPoint. The reality you once knew is gone." Wally says, "One more thing: If your computer dies during powerpoint, your career dies in the real world."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clean up, janitor, crime scene, push broom, deadly computer explosions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I got transferred to our crime scene cleanup subsidiary." Dilbert says, "I have a competitive advantage because I have the customer lists from our other subsidiaries." Man says, "No, we haven't had any deadly computer explosions here." Dilbert says, "I'll check back in an hour."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags yell, pain, hurt, mouth open, eyes closed, surprise, elves, uppity, software, magic, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "GAAA!!! II HURTS SO BAD!" Alice says, "That artificial display of pain was a reminder that software is not created by magic." The Boss says, "The Elves are getting uppity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags friend matrix, coworker, sit at computer, computer expert, frisky friend, low standards

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "I'm updating my friend resource matrix and I have a few gaps." Coworker says, "I already have a friend with a truck, a friend who gives me free tickets, and a friend with tools." Coworker says, "I've got openings for a computer expert friend and a frisky friend with low standards." Dilbert says, "I'll try the computer one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags typing, lazy, idea, trick, deception, managing, stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I programmed my instant-messaging software to send random questions to our boss every hour." Wally says, "They're all yes or no questions so he'll have the illusion of managing me." Computer says, "Should I rotate the domain protocols so they wear out evenly?" The boss says, "Yes"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags steam, confusion, violence, punching, computer, crazy, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "My computer kept locking up, so I had to let off some steam." The Boss says, "You can't fix your computer by punching it!" Alice says, "Why would I punch my computer? That's crazy." Asok says, "Alice?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags archaic sayings, bite the hand, cost of measuring, direct deposit, measuring incorrectly, rock carving, software development, web design, wise sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My management philosophy is 'measure' twice, cut once. Dilbert: That only makes sense in a narrow, and generally archaic, set of conditions. In software development, the item being cut, metaphorically speaking, is often plentiful and inexpensive. In many cases, the cost of measuring incorrectly is low compared to the time wasted doing two measurements before every action. Your philosophy is better suited for rock carving than web design. Do you have any wise sayings that involve churning your own butter, or putting saddles on dinosaurs?" The Boss: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Dilbert: I have direct deposit."