Contort Face Comic Strips - Page 28

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327 Results for Contort Face

View 271 - 280 results for contort face comic strips. Discover the best "Contort Face" comics from Dilbert.com.

Offer 90 Percent Less

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 Offer 90 Percent Less  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, price, list, stupid, impact, face mask, business

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boss: try offering 90% less than the list price and see if they take it. dilbert: no one reduces their prices by 90% just because you want them to do it. i will look stupid for asking! boss: watch how that doesn't impact me at all.

Boss Doesn't Understand

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  Boss Doesn't Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, server, migration, difficult, understand, question, face maks

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boss: can you finish the server migration by monday? dilbert: no way. boss: how hard can it be? dilbert: you only say that about things you don't understand. boss: i ask that question every day. dilberty: yup.

Any Questions

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 Any Questions  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, company, conclusion, end, face masks, managers & supervisors, meeting, question, vision

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boss: okay, that's all for today unless anyone has a question. alice, boss & dilbert thinking: please let it end. please let it end. please let it end. co-worker: what's the company vision? unison: GAAA!!!

Not A Monopoly

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Not A Monopoly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, senior managment, ceo, government, monopoly, product, essential, modern, life, competition, company, compete, buy out, fail, face mask

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ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.

Authority On Your Opinion

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Authority On Your Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, disagreements, Opinion, sarcasm, change, debate, authority, hallucinating, lying, stupid, gaslight, insult, face mask

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co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.

Meeting Ending Invention

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Meeting Ending Invention    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, invent, app, application, ring, phone, meeting, strategic, direction, face mask

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dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.

Wally Must Say Something

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Wally Must Say Something   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, meeting, attention, confused, face mask, follow-up, questions, project, employee, engagement, business

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wally thinking: i need to say something to show i'm paying attention. wally: i'm concerned that the project could reduce employee engagement. boss: what does that even mean? wally thinking: i wasn't expecting follow-up questions.

Edits Without Tracking

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 Edits Without Tracking  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accident, business, complex, delete, document, edit, email, face mask, forgot, technology, tracker

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co-worker: i edited your incredibly complex document and sent it to you by email. dilbert: i don't see your high-lighted changes. co-worker: i forgot to turn on the edit tracker. dilbert: i'm going to accidentally delete your email. co-worker: that's probably how i'd play it too.

Can't Let It Go

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 Can't Let It Go  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, face mask, let it go, office workers, software, technology, test

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co-worker: i thought you said we would be testing the software by today. dilbert: nope. i never said anything remotely like that. co-worker: i can't let this go. dilbert: i didn't think you could.

Ted Needed To Know

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  Ted Needed To Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, business, email, forward, malice, slander, private, know, face maks

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alice: i forwarded your email to ted. Dilbert shaken: WHAT!!! i said bad things about ted! that was a private email to you! alice: he needed to know. dilbert yelling: he did not need to know!