Engineers Are Free Comic Strips - Page 28
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Share April 22, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a classroom of children saying, "And don't forget the social life that comes with being an engineer." Dilbert continues, "Ninety percent of all engineers are guys, so it's a bonanza of dating opportunities for the ladies who enter the field." Dilbert continues, "For the men, there are these little video game devices . . ." A little girl raises her hand and asks, "Would I be allowed to date a non-engineer?"
Share June 28, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "My patent application is complete. Soon the other engineers will come sniffing around." Dilbert thinks, "They are attracted by the scent of success. They want their names on my patent." Wally, Alice and Ted peer into Dilbert's cubicle. Alice says to Wally and Ted, "The scent CAN'T be coming from here." Ted says, "We may be getting a false positive from his baloney sandwich." They all sniff the air.
Share September 08, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "You engineers have done NOTHING on my project. You just keep saying I haven't given you sufficient requirements!" The man throws his arms up in frustration and says, "I don't know what else you need and you won't tell me what you need!! Is this just your way of avoiding work??!" Wally replies, "I'll bet you regret choosing marketing as a career path." Dilbert adds, "It looks like a lot of work."
Share September 28, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. A man asks, "Have I told you recently that I have a lucrative job offer from our competitor?" Dilbert replies, "Yes." The man continues, "The pay is obscene, they wear casual clothes at work, and Wednesday through Friday is free beer and pizza." The man continues, "As the new guy I get to date the masseuse until the company matches me with an attractive co-worker." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.
Share October 02, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, ". . . So I knew it was either a layer three protocol error or else it was time to recalibrate the scope." Dilbert continues, "Ha ha! I'll avoid the obvious pun about D-channel packet addressing!" The waiter wrestles with the woman for her knife. Dilbert says, "I don't think she's done with her knife." The waiter says, "I know. I lost three engineers this way."
Share December 03, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Congratulations, Mister Dogbert. You submitted the lowest bid for creating our corporate fitness program." The Boss continues, "The other bidders wanted money. You're the only one who offered to do it just for the laughs." The Boss continues, "Although I don't see what's so funny about it." Dogbert replies, "Engineers . . . Aerobics . . . Think about it."
Share December 04, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand in front of Dogbert wearing shorts and t-shirts. Dogbert says, "Skeptics say that a company fitness program will not succeed. Let's do some aerobics and see who's right!" Dilbert and the other engineers hit and kick each other as they try to do aerobics. The employees lie in a pile on the floor. Dilbert says, "The skeptics are right." Dogbert replies, "We usually are."
Share December 13, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a conference table with Stan and a customer. Stan says, "And our product has a thirty terabit RAM cache, just like your company needs. Tell him, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "It has no RAM." Stan continues, "And it's capable of detecting tachion field emissions." Dilbert says, "You're confusing use with 'Star Trek' again, Stan." Stan continues, "We'll build that stuff into the next free upgrade." The customer replies, "We'll take it!" Dilbert thinks, "Beam me up, Spock. There's no life on this planet."
Share December 27, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert says to a salesperon in a store, "I'd like your biggest map of the world for my room." Dogbert says to the clerk, "I'd like this for free. In return, after I conquer the world I'll make you ambassador to France." The salesclerk says, "Does that require travel? I get air sick." Dogbert replies, "No problem. You'll have diplomatic immunity."
Share October 27, 1994's comic on:
"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We mail our product to people and tell them it's free for one year." "Then we start nailing them with high fees because they'll forget the procedure for returning the product. They're trapped." "So, did you have some ethics advice?" "No. I asked you here so I can return your stupid product."