Funny Dog Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

297 Results for Funny Dog

View 271 - 280 results for funny dog comic strips. Discover the best "Funny Dog" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags details, work, slacker, meeting, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "My project is unfunded, just the way I like it. Wally says, "I spend my entire say forwarding funny e-mails and lubricating my bowels with coffee." The boss says, "Allow me to explain something?" Wally says, "Better make it fast!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, review, criticism, ridicule, nervous, frustration, useless

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "It's funny that you're evaluating me." Alice says, "Because I understand how to do your job, but you have no idea how to do my job." Alice says, "For example, right now you're going to say something that doesn't help the stockholders."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags christmas, presents, giving, nerdy, Funny, coffee, bank, bathrobe, holiday

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas. Here?s a hundred bucks." Dogbert says, "And here's a hundred bucks for you." Dilbert says, "We could save another step by setting up an electronic transfer with an annual recurring option." Dogbert says, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Or we could not give gifts." Dilbert says, "Hush your crazy talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, advice from dog, pick up line, ultimate pick up line, criticism completes me, low self esteem, woman responds, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm going to a singles mixer tonight. Do you have any advice? Dogbert: Don't I always?" "It's all about knowing what a woman needs. Find a woman who looks hot, carve her out from the herd and read this. Dilbert: What is it?" Dogbert: It's the ultimate pick up line. Dilbert: Um...Hi. Excuse me. Criticism completes me. woman: He's a keeper.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags questions, business, reasoning, thinking, plants

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "You're watering a plastic plant." man says, "yes, I am." Dilbert says, "Why?" man says, "Funny story." Many says, "Your boss replaced the live plants with plastic ones to save money." man says, "My company has the contract to water your office plants." Man says, "No one ever cancelled our contract." Man says, "Now my career is less important than a gnat's toot in a hurricane." man says, "But it's still way better than sitting in a fabric-covered box all day." Dilbert thinks, "I need to stop talking to people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, idea, pitch, bored, time, ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our next presenter is Dilbert." Dilbert says, "I put together a slide show and video." Dilbert says, "While it's running, I'll perform a humorous rap song about the benefits of our product." Dilbert says, "Then each of you will wear a funny hat and participate in a skit." Dilbert says, "Later we'll enjoy a ventriloquist who dresses in a beaver suit and threatens to eat his dummy." Dilbert says, "We'll top it off with a trivia contest, prizes, fireworks in the atrium." Man says, "What can you do in two minutes? We need to catch a plane." Dilbert thinks, "I should have gone with the slide show." Man says, "Mmph"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, brilliant, moron, appearance, superficial, beard, silent, Funny, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I invited silent Gary to help us decide on a technology direction." The Boss says, "We think he's a genius because he has a beard and he never speaks." The Boss says, "Gary, do you think we should use open source software for our support platform?" The Boss says, "Here it comes. He's rubbing his beard and giving me creepy eye contact." THe Boss says, "I detect a slight hint of disgust. It means Gary hates the idea! The Boss says, "Yes, it's all so obvious now. This is the worst idea in the history of mankind." The Boss says, "THe meeting is over. Silent Gary has spoken." Dilbert says, "You're actually a moron, aren't you?" Gary says, "Don't ruin this for me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags class, expenses, money, options, fire, stupid, dog, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need this class to update my skills. Will you approve the expense?" The Boss says, "Where's the analysis of alternatives?" Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "When you ask for funding, you need to tell me what my options are." Dilbert says, "Well, okay. That seems logical." Dilbert says, "Option two. Do nothing while I become increasingly unqualified for my job." Dilbert says, "Option three: replace me with someone younger who earns less than I do and already has the skills." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Options are only good when other people don't have them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags children, costume, embarrassment, parents, respect, work, tattoo, daught traylor, corporate environment, Family

View Transcript

Transcript

"What's that thing doing here?" "This is my daughter, Traylor." "I brought her to the office so she can learn about working in a corporate environment." "Okay, whatever. I have a new project for you." "Some idiot cut his finger. Now we have to do a safety awareness campaign." "Put on this dog costume. You're the mascot for our 'Spot' the safety hazard campaign." "Whenever anyone walks by, you say, 'Woof woof, don't use scissors.'" "Can I get a tattoo?" "Sure."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emailed file, accomplishments, entire month, open the file, down load, browser, upgrade broswer, operating system, upagrde, software, hard disk, view of file, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"My accomplishement this month was opening a file that someone e-mailed." "That took an entire month?" "It wasn't that easy. I didn't have the right software to open the file." "I tried to download the viewer from the Internet but the Web site didn't support my browser." "And I couldn't upgrade my browser until I updated my operating system!" "That required me to upgrade all of my software, too." "My hard disk got maxed out, so I had to upgrade my computer and transfer all of the files." "So, then you got to view the file?" "Yeah...It was a funny one about a cat."