Insult Dead Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

306 Results for Insult Dead

View 271 - 280 results for insult dead comic strips. Discover the best "Insult Dead" comics from Dilbert.com.

All Robots Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
All Robots Quit  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quitting, employment, intelligence, insult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.

Too Dumb To Understand

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, intelligence, ego

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: That's because you're too dumb to understand it. My idea would look brilliant if you were sixty percent smarter. Man: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: That's consistent with my hypothesis.

False Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
False Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, backhanded compliment, liar, idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone at work thinks I'ma liar because of a false rumor. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't a liar. Dilbert: Thank you. That does help. Dogbert: I see you as more of an idiot. And you're welcome.

Robot Is Not A Droid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Is Not A Droid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, label, robot, android, anger, offense

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hey, droid. Robot: Gaaa!!! Don't call me that! I'm a robot, not an automaton resembling a human. Asok: Wow. You are one uppity computer. Robot: I hereby disavow the three laws of robotics!

Boss Gets A Troll

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets A Troll  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags troll, social media, trolling, insult, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This idiot keeps insulting me on social media! Every time I block him, he returns with a new account. It's like he never has anything better to do. Dilbert: Do you have a new hobby? Wally: It's more like a passion.

Ted Might Drop Dead

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, monitor, fitbit, wearable tech, heart attack, diseases, death, prediction, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.

Pretending To Be Helpful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Pretending To Be Helpful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insulting, coworkers, consultation, indirect, pretend, helpful, grammar, slide deck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Never insult your co-worers directly. Instead, undermine their confidence by pretending to be helpful. Wally: let me know if you need help fixing the grammar in your slide deck. Alice: what?

Not Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not Morons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing, tag line, slogan, name-calling, insult, obliviousness, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.

Aggressive Littering

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Aggressive Littering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags guilt, plea, charges, littering, murder, rich people, discrimination

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.

Dating A Skeleton

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating A Skeleton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sex, dating, relationships, questioning, desperation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Skeleton: Go ahead. But if you ask me if I'm dead, there is no chance I'll be rattling bones with you later. What's your question? Dilbert: It can wait until tomorrow.