Low Cost Comic Strips - Page 28
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284 Results for Low Cost
View 271 - 280 results for low cost comic strips. Discover the best "Low Cost" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 17,
2018
Answering Questions In Email
Tags #Dilbert, #male employee, #email, #questions
Transcript
Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email? Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email. Male employee: Jerk. Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.
Sunday December 09,
2018
Tags #communication, #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #talking
Transcript
Dilbert: Did Alice talk to you about the cost estimates? Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I can't hear you. Ted: Mumble mumble!!! Dilbert: Now you're just mumbling louder. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: Maybe you could turn toward me when you mumble and I can try to read your lips. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I'm getting something about grapes, windshields, asthma, and blockchain. Ted: I didn't say any of those things. Dilbert: Okay. I understood that sentence. Now answer my question the same way. Ted: Mumble mumble.
Sunday February 03,
2019
Tags #business, #business ethics, #construction, #inventions, #nature, #technology, #trees
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.
Monday March 04,
2019
Dilbert And Brainwashing
Tags #avoidance, #employees, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Boss: Why is your employee engagement so low? Dilbert: Because I'm relatively immune to brainwashing. Boss: Okay, I didn't think you knew.
Tuesday March 26,
2019
Why Is Dilbert Arrogant
Tags #business, #intelligence, #office, #office workers, #relationships, #arrogance
Transcript
office worker: why are you so arrogant? dilbert: that's an illusion caused be a combination of your low intelligence and my track record of being right all the time. office worker: you're being arrogant again! dibert: or am I just right?
Wednesday July 17,
2019
Asok Lives In The Office
Tags #boss, #cost, #criticism, #house, #office, #office workers, #expectations
Transcript
Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.
Thursday July 18,
2019
Housing Costs
Tags #cost, #discussion, #homeless persons, #house
Transcript
Asok: Housing costs are so high that I had to move into a restroom stall. Man: I live in the park under a pile of wet cardboard. Asok: Have you tried a stall? Man: No, I'm too outdoorsy for that.
Friday July 19,
2019
Homeless Employees
Tags #concern, #cost, #employees, #homeless persons, #office workers, #pretend
Transcript
Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.
Thursday October 10,
2019
Need To Retrain
Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work
Transcript
boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?
Friday December 27,
2019
Employer Of The Year
Tags #advertising, #managers & supervisors, #employer, #year, #million dollars, #attitude, #business
Transcript
boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.