Search Results for "low self esteem"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Wally Follows His Passion

Thank you for voting.
Wally Follows His Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #passion, #motivation, #Advice, #misunderstand, #misunderstanding, #attraction, #follow, #following

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm running low on motivation. What can you do for me? Boss: Follow your passion. Woman: Stop following me. Wally: Dream-killer.

Software Killed Ted

Thank you for voting.
Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

Dilbert Has Free Will

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #watch, #technology, #signal, #symbol, #time, #punctual, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #outdated, #change

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I used to enjoy pointing to my watch and mocking people for being late. But it isn't as fun as it used to be. Dilbert: Is your step count low again?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #martial arts, #self defense, #robber, #mugging, #mugger, #yoga, #dance, #fight, #beaten, #fists, #hit

View Transcript

Transcript

Thief: Hey! Give me your wallet. Boss: I must warn you that I am skilled in the arts of yoga, feng shui, and Irish dancing. Dilbert: But it wasn't enough? Boss: He did a fist thing.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.

Expectations

Thank you for voting.
Expectations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #expectations, #misanthrope, #happiness, #contentment, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Why is Alice always so angry? Wally: It's a function of her unrealistic expectations. I'm never disappointed because I expect people to be ignorant, self-absorbed, and useless. Asok: Present company excluded? Wally: And there it is.

Blame Rolls Downhill

Thank you for voting.
Blame Rolls Downhill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #responsibility, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?

Sales Is Blaming Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Sales Is Blaming Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #sales, #responsibility, #blame, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.

Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common

Thank you for voting.
Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #gandhi, #comparison, #coffee, #greatness, #achievement

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Have you ever noticed how much I have in common with Gandhi? We're both little bald guys who think India should be self-governing. Dilbert: I don't think he drank coffee. Wally: Imagine what he could have accomplished if he did.