Search Results for "low self esteem"
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Character
Saturday July 25,
2015
Wally Follows His Passion
Tags #passion, #motivation, #Advice, #misunderstand, #misunderstanding, #attraction, #follow, #following
Transcript
Wally: I'm running low on motivation. What can you do for me? Boss: Follow your passion. Woman: Stop following me. Wally: Dream-killer.
Wednesday August 19,
2015
Software Killed Ted
Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.
Thursday August 20,
2015
Dilbert Has Free Will
Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence
Transcript
Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?
Monday September 28,
2015
Tags #watch, #technology, #signal, #symbol, #time, #punctual, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #outdated, #change
Transcript
Alice: I used to enjoy pointing to my watch and mocking people for being late. But it isn't as fun as it used to be. Dilbert: Is your step count low again?
Friday October 02,
2015
Tags #martial arts, #self defense, #robber, #mugging, #mugger, #yoga, #dance, #fight, #beaten, #fists, #hit
Transcript
Thief: Hey! Give me your wallet. Boss: I must warn you that I am skilled in the arts of yoga, feng shui, and Irish dancing. Dilbert: But it wasn't enough? Boss: He did a fist thing.
Wednesday March 16,
2016
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.
Tuesday August 09,
2016
Expectations
Tags #expectations, #misanthrope, #happiness, #contentment, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: Why is Alice always so angry? Wally: It's a function of her unrealistic expectations. I'm never disappointed because I expect people to be ignorant, self-absorbed, and useless. Asok: Present company excluded? Wally: And there it is.
Saturday October 15,
2016
Blame Rolls Downhill
Tags #blame, #responsibility, #management
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?
Wednesday October 26,
2016
Sales Is Blaming Marketing
Tags #sales, #responsibility, #blame, #business
Transcript
Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.
Wednesday March 01,
2017
Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common
Tags #gandhi, #comparison, #coffee, #greatness, #achievement
Transcript
Wally: Have you ever noticed how much I have in common with Gandhi? We're both little bald guys who think India should be self-governing. Dilbert: I don't think he drank coffee. Wally: Imagine what he could have accomplished if he did.