Making Mad Comic Strips - Page 28

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294 Results for Making Mad

View 271 - 280 results for making mad comic strips. Discover the best "Making Mad" comics from Dilbert.com.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #conjecture, #karma, #payback

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Boss: I heard that you think I'm making the wrong decision with our technology roadmap. Dilbert: I never said that. Boss: I heard you did. Dilbert: Who told you that? Boss: I promised I wouldn't reveal my source. Dilbert: It never happened. Boss: That's not what I hear. Dilbert: Will the fate of my entire career depend on that rumor? Boss: It already does. Dilbert: Do you ever worry about karma? Boss: Get back to work. Narrator: One hour later. CEO: I hear you're embezzling like crazy. Boss: Who told you that?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #memory, #notes, #forgetting, #reminder, #forgetfulness

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Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?

Worthless Financial Projections

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Worthless Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #money, #finances, #big business, #projection, #prediction, #guessing, #estimate

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Dilbert: Here's the financial projection you asked me to do. It's basically just guessing plus math. Obviously, it's useless for making decisions because I can get any result I want by tweaking the assumptions. Boss: Don't say any of that stuff when you present it to the board tomorrow.

Financial Forecaster Quit

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Financial Forecaster Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #big business, #money, #projection, #prediction, #Advice

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Boss: Our financial forecaster quit. I need you to fill in for him. Dilbert: I don't know how to do financial forecasts. Boss: Neither did he. Dilbert: How were you making decisions? Boss: It's better if we don't excavate that septic tank.

When Clarity Is Not Your Friend

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When Clarity Is Not Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #language, #jargon, #communication

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Boss: Your project summary needs mare jargon and acronyms. The goal is to make ourselves look smart while making the readers feel dumb. Dilbert: What about clarity? Boss: Clarity is not our friend on this one.

Dilbert Starts The Cover Up

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Dilbert Starts The Cover Up  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #suspicion, #blame, #proof, #guilt, #innocence

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Alice: I think Dilbert is trying to ruin my career. Carol said he was mad about something I said, and hew as in the server room right before I lost my files. This morning he said he "had work to do." Boss: OMG. He already started the cover-up. Narrator: Continued...

How Conspiracy Theories Start

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How Conspiracy Theories Start  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #guilt, #innocence, #blame

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories start. Alice: I can't find my spreadsheet files. Asok: I saw Dilbert going into the server room. Alice: That doesn't mean any... Asok: Carol said he was mad about something you said. Narrator: Continued...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuses, #productivity

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Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?

Elbonian Sales Video Assignment

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Elbonian Sales Video Assignment  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #culture, #catch-22, #misunderstanding, #communication

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Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.