Management Experts Comic Strips - Page 28

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377 Results for Management Experts

View 271 - 280 results for management experts comic strips. Discover the best "Management Experts" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #scheduling, #business jargon, #surprised, #impressed, #business

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The Boss says, "Let's schedule a scenario-based roundtable discussion about our enterprise project management." The Boss says, "We'll use our infrastructure survey tool to architect a risk-based tiering system." Dilbert says, "That almost meant something." Wally says, "I'm tempted to stop acting randomly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #math, #project, #fail, #disaster, #embarrassed, #act dumb, #cancel, #buy, #question, #demonstrate, #hands up, #education, #business

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Dilbert says, "The math clearly shows that our project won't work, even if we do everything right." The Boss says, "It's embarrassing to cancel a project in the middle. Let's act dumb and hope someone in upper management cancels it for budget reasons." Dilbert says, "Should I stop buying stuff?" The Boss says, "You should buy twice as much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #project, #coordinate, #give up, #business

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The Boss says, "Make sure you coordinate with the brand manager and the category manager." The Boss says, "And also the clients, the account execs, the project leaders, strategic planning, facilities management, product managers, marketing, and I.T." Dilbert says, "All I heard was 'give up.'" The Boss says, "Let's meet again in a year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #pension fun, #rat, #dartboard, #garfield posters

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The Boss says, "Studies show that a rat with a dartboard can manage your pension fund as well as experts." Ratbert says, "I invested your entire pension fund in Garfield posters." Ratbert says, "I'm bad at darts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2010's comic on:


Tags #anonymous online employee survey, #slip up, #look at paper, #angry, #eyebrows, #trust, #ironic

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The Boss says, "According to the anonymous online employee survey, you don't trust management. What's up with that?" The Boss says, "Oh. Right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #lying, #deception

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The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #frustrated, #angry, #stupidity

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The boss says, "Get us some risk management software." Dilbert says, "What can risk management software tell you that common sense and experience can't?" The boss says, "Data." Dilbert says, "Stop failin the turing test!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #lying, #disgust, #business

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Dilbert says, "Our risk management software says your idea is too risky." The boss says, "Try reducing one of the inputs." Dilbert says, "Which one?" the boss says, "Honesty" Dilbert says, "I just threw up in my mouth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #newspaper, #economy, #hardship, #sacrifice, #Entertainment

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Elbonian says, "The big countries are having economic problems. Experts say it will soon affect Elbonia." Elbonian says, "We'll need to cut back on some of our luxury expenses." Elbonia says, "You can stop practicing your fetching," Pig says, "Should I ask why?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #bragging, #education, #ridiculous, #doubting, #annoyed

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Man says, "I have an MBA from a top business school." Man says, "I'm a management expert because I read case studies about businesses that were in completely different situations." Man says, "Wait a minute. Why does that suddenly seem ridiculous?" Dilbert says, "Will this take much longer?"