My Budget Estimates Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

321 Results for My Budget Estimates

View 271 - 280 results for my budget estimates comic strips. Discover the best "My Budget Estimates" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yelling, #budget, #meeting, #begging, #confused, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Until the economy improves, we are instituting a mandatory week off every quarter." The boss says, "At least you'll have more time with your families." Ted says, Nooo!!! Not my family!!!" The boss says, "Problems at home?" Ted says, "May I please work without pay?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #budget, #cut backs, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Until the company returns to profitability I will only fly coach." Dogbert says, "I'll book three coach seats in a row so I can stretch out." Dogbert says, "One of you will be a Sherpa for my bedding." Dogbert says, "I'll bring my own air marshal to punch anyone who talks while I'm napping." Dogbert says, "And a videographer so I can see the playback when I wake up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #crying, #afraid, #nervous, #breakdown, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #budget, #deadline, #resources, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'll never be able to finish my project on time." The Boss says, "You need to take ownership." Dilbert says, "Can I hire more programmers?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Can I reduce the number of features?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "So...I'm just taking ownership of the failure?" The Boss says, "Don't be greedy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reading, #budget, #fixing, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We can only afford to fix the high-priority bugs." Dilbert says, "If we don't fix 100% of the bugs, the software will be 100% useless." Dilbert says, "So our plan is to fail?" The boss says, "More slowly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #budget, #suggestion, #ridicule, #annouyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I've been asked to cut the fat out of this department." Wally says, "If the department has fat in it, that's a symptom of bad management. Maybe you should fire yourself." The boss says, "I wasn't asking for suggestions." Wally says, "Geez, way to be critical during brain storming."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #wings, #halo, #lying, #disappearing, #work, #side effects, #medication, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Please ignore my wings and halo. They are side effects from my prescription meds." Dilbert says, "Anyway, my pointy-haired boss asked me to tell you that we will finish the prototype on time and on budget." Woman says, "That is one bad tell you got there." Poof! Poof!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #estimating, #mocking, #indifference, #ignorance, #budgets

View Transcript

Transcript

Ellen says, "I need a budget estimate for my project, but I don't have a scope or a design for it yet." Dilbert says, "Okay, my estimate is $3,583,729." Ellen says, "You don't know anything about my project." Dilbert says, "That makes two of us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agreement, #areas of expertise, #business units, #confusion, #consolidate shared services, #diagnostic review, #evil director, #from centers, #invoice, #meeting, #presentation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources man says, "My consultants can transform human resources." man says, "We'll start with a diagnostic review." man says, "Then you'll form centers of excellence around areas of expertise." man says, "Next, you'll consolidate shared services and drive continuous improvement." man says, "Business units will translate operational imperatives into HR actions. Catbert says, "Does any of that mean the same as firing idiots and cutting the budget?" man says, "Which answer gets us hired?" Catbert says, "Try yes." Man says, "Yes!" Catbert says, "Great. Put a bow on it and send me the invoice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #problem, #ignorance, #hiding, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Customers can't figure out our user interface. the boss says, "They should read the manual." Dilbert says, "Our manual is more confusing than our user interface." The boss says, "They can use our onine support database." Dilbert says, "That's more confusing than our manual." The boss says, "We have no money to fix any of that." The boss says, "In situations like this, I like to go to my special place" The boss says, "Someday I hope to have a special place big enough for my entire body." the boss says, "Problem solved."