Office Equipment Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Office Equipment

View 271 - 280 results for office equipment comic strips. Discover the best "Office Equipment" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags greatest accomplishemnts, big raise, draft, white paper, impact of work, owls, losy woodland, habitats

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in Dilbert's office with a laptop balanced on his lap. He says to Dilbert, "Tell me your greatest accomplishments at work. I'll use that to hype you up with your boss so you get a big raise." Dilbert says, "I wrote a draft of a white paper on a strawman process to reengineer our product process." Dogbert asks, "And what was the impact of that work?" Dilbert answers, I think some owls lost their woodland habitats."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mandatory training, business ethics, save money, training, decorate offcie, taken training, common sense

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Dilbert, "Have you taken the mandatory training for business ethics?" Dilbert answers, "No. But if you SAY I did then you'll save some money on training which you can spend to decorate your office." The Boss says, "Luckily, I haven't taken the training myself." Dilbert says, "I hear it's mostly common sense anyway."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reengineered job, more fulfilled, value chain, stages of prodcution, fired secretaries, credenza

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is in the Boss's office. The Boss says, "Great news! I've reengineered your job to make you more fulfilled!" The Boss continues, "You'll no longer be limited to one little part of the value chain. You'll be involved in all stages of production!" Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "Oh Lord, you fired all the secretaries!!" The Boss orders, "Dust my credenza."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags standardize, one type computer, mac user, deviant users, macintosh, unix, holy wars, gustav

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert, the Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I recommend standardizing on one type of computer for the office." Ratbert continues, "We must identify and eliminate the deviant users of Macintosh, Unix and . . . God help us . . . OS/2 Warp." Dilbert glares at him. The caption reads, "The Holy Wars Begin." Ratbert interrogates a man being held by police. Ratbert says, "Don't lie to me, Gustav! You're a stinkin' Mac user!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mister catbert, diversity, the worse, german accent, Wally, computer issues

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is in Catbert's office. Wally says, "Mister Catbert, the company is trying to force me to use a different kind of computer." Wally continues, "You're the Human Resources Director. What are you doing to stop this religious persecution??! What ever happened to 'diversity??'" Catbert responds, "The longer you verk here, diverse it gets . . . Next."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags benchmark, world class companies, compare, verbs, nouns, assign, engineers, field research, pointy haired idioits

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I want you to benchmark these world-class companies. Find out how we compare." Alice responds, "I'm betting they don't make verbs out of nouns. And I'll bet they don't assign engineers to do field research." Alice talks on the phone in her office. She asks, "Do you guys have any pointy-haired idiots running your place? . . . Would you like one?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hired as temp, ratbert, cardboard box, main hallway, regular employees, status, security gurad, crud behind refrigerator, company car

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Ratbert, "Congratulations on getting hired as a temp, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Where do I start?!" Dilbert tells him, "Your office is this cardboard box in the main hallway. The regular employees will not make eye contact or ask your name." Dilbert continues, "Your status is roughly between the security guard and the crud behind the refrigerator." Ratbert replies, "Do I get a company car?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags records retention, valuable documents, stored, so much easier, asks for anything

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches a door that is labeled, "Records Retention." In the Records Retention Office, Dilbert hands a pile of documents to the librarian and says, "These valuable documents should be stored for five years." As he throws the documents in the trash bin, the librarian thinks, "This job got so much easier when I realized that nobody ever asks for anything back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice sits boss, approve expense voucher, creature, eats snacks, security guard, problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of Alice's desk. Alice has a crown on her head and is holding a document in her hand. She says, "I will approve your expense voucher on one condition." Alice continues, "You must slay the creature who stalks the office at night and eats our hidden snacks." Dilbert holds a baseball bat in one hand and opens a drawer with the other. A mouse peers out of the drawer. Dilbert says to him, "It has to be either you or the security guard." The mouse answers, "Slay him first and see if the problem stops."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, hr director, too stressful, company counselor, re engineered, counseling process, cover sand

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee sits in Catbert's office. The man says, "My job is too stressful. Can I see a company counselor?" As he plays with the ball of string on his desk, Catbert replies, "I re-engineered our counseling process. Now we put you in a big hole and cover you with sand." The man stands in the hole while Catbert kicks sand onto him. The employee says, "If this is my only benefit I'd better get a LOT of sand!" Catbert says, "Just keep your mouth open."