Punch More Comic Strips - Page 28

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View 271 - 280 results for punch more comic strips. Discover the best "Punch More" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #buying, #tobacco, #lobby, #Politics, #anti-smoking, #facists, #media, #sex, #appeal, #positive

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Dogbert and his senator sit across from a woman whose head is surrounded by cigarette smoke. There is a full ashtray on the desk. The senator has a "Sale" sign on his head. The woman says, "Mister Dogbert, the tobacco lobby is very interested in buying your senator." The woman continues, "We've been taking a beating from the anti-smoking fascists. I blame the media." The woman continues, "What we need is more attention on the positive aspects of smoking . . . Like sex appeal." The smoke clears and reveals the woman's ugly, withered head. Dogbert says, "Yes, sir."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #customers, #consultant, #tom peters, #follows, #around, #passionate, #criticism, #splitter, #customer

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We've got to focus more on the needs of our customers." The Boss points to a man standing next to him and says, "I've hired famous business consultant Tom Peters to follow you around and make passionate criticism." Tom stands behind Dilbert while he works. Tom waves his arms as he asks, "Is this quality? Are you truly focused on the customer?" Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . He's a spitter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dog, #help, #single, #Women, #attractive, #petable, #cuter, #Funny, #impression, #frothing, #john sununu

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "As my dog, I think you should be doing more to help me meet attractive single women during our walks." Dilbert continues, "Try to be cuter, and look more pet-able." Dilbert continues, "And it's not funny when you do your impression of a frothing mad dog every time somebody walks by." Dogbert replies, "That's my John Sununu impression."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #language, #Dilbert, #Wally, #zimbu, #zoo, #engineer, #cafeteria, #donuts, #skills, #staff, #meeting, #monkey

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Dilbert stands in front of Zimbu the Monkey's desk and says, "Look, Zimbu, you might have learned language skills at the zoo, but it takes more than that to be an engineer." Wally enters and says, "Dilbert, Zimbu, let's hit the cafeteria for morning donuts." Dilbert, Wally and Zimbu sit at a table eating donuts. Dilbert says, "Okay, after ten a.m. it takes more than language skills to be an engineer." Wally says, "Not today -- we have a staff meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #emplopyees, #empowered, #decisions, #empowerment, #concept, #productive, #fired, #work

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and another employee, "From now on, all employees are empowered to make their own decisions." The Boss continues, "Empowerment is the concept of the nineties. You'll be happier and more productive." Wally says, "You're fired, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "No, YOU are!" The woman says, "I'll never work hard again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #date, #new, #system, #evaluating, #check, #boxes, #Card, #night, #dinged, #point, #nervous, #twitch, #head, #block, #bucket

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I'm using a new system for evaluating my dates. I just check off boxes on this card throughout the night." The woman continues, "There . . . I just dinged you a point for that nervous twitch." The woman asks, "Would you say your head is more like a block or a bucket?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #compelte, #eons, #martial, #bliss, #gomer, #somebody, #enlightened, #ruebert, #hell

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Ruebert the Robot says to Dilbert, "My mate is complete! I will now have eons of marital bliss!" The female robot says, "I don't think so, Gomer. I'm going to shop around . . . Maybe find somebody more enlightened than a can opener." Ruebert says, "It's Ruebert, not Gomer, and I'm the only other robot in existence!" The female robot thinks, "I'm in hell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #smell, #suspected, #stopped, #neighbor, #cat, #trial, #pat, #pet

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Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dilbert asks, "How was your day, Dogbert?" Dogbert sniffs the air and asks, "Hey! What's that smell?" Dogbert smells Dilbert's hand and says, "Just as I suspected - you stopped to pet the neighbor's cat!" Dilbert says, "It meant nothing. It was more of a pat than a pet." Dilbert dials the phone and says, "Save your lies for the trial."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #genius, #humility, #Dogbert, #weasel, #compliments, #clever

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says from behind him, "I'm not really a genius." Dilbert asks, "Did you say something?" Dogbert replies, "I'm practicing my false humility." Dilbert asks, "Is this just a way to weasel more compliments out of people?" Dogbert replies, "Oh, I could never be THAT clever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #men and women, #armed, #stunned, #bunny, #romantic, #relationships

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A woman says to another woman, "I don't know what we can do to meet more men." Dilbert walks up to the women and says, "Hi, my name is Dilbert." The woman says, "Get lost . . . I'm armed." As Dilbert walks away looking shocked, the woman says, "And the men we do meet all have that same stunned bunny look."