Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 28
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 271 - 280 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 10,
2011
Tags employees, executives, busy converting, lower morle, stirring up trouble, departments, undercommunicating, business
Transcript
Carol: He's busy converting everything you did this year into a complete waste of time. After that, he's scheduled to lower our morale. Then he'll be stirring up trouble in other departments. Dilbert: How's tomorrow look? Carol: He'll be under-communicating all day.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday November 11,
2011
Tags employees, executives, ignorance (knowledge), technical details, idea, deciosns, people involved, pale and poorly dressed, business
Transcript
Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?
Saturday November 12,
2011
Tags boredom, business ethics, boost morale, pretending to be intereted, overkill, unemployement, brain, fallout, yawn hole
Transcript
Boss: I'm here to boost your morale by pretending to be interested in you as a human being. But it's probably overkill since unemployment is around 9% and you're not likely to quit. Dilbert: Still, it's nice to... Boss: That's enough! I don't want my brain to fall out of my yawn hole.
Wednesday November 16,
2011
Tags different, employees, goals, work little, year ahead, your goals, my goals, business
Transcript
Boss: When I asked for your goals for the coming year, I had something different in mind. Not "work as little as possible while avoiding the wrath of the pointy-haired troll." Wally: Don't call them my goals if you mean your goals.
Saturday November 19,
2011
Tags employees, ignorance (knowledge), fire wally, can't risk, zeberpupin system, only one, program, business
Transcript
Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.
Thursday November 24,
2011
Tags commerce, service business, unmotivated sales guy, slides are blank, compelling reason, no commission work, budget issues
Transcript
Unmotivated sales guy Man: My slides are blank because no one told me what our product does. And I don't have a compelling reason to find out because I don't work on commission. If anyone asks why you didn't place an order, would you mind saying you have budget issues?
Monday November 28,
2011
Tags annoyance, another anonymous email, correlation, employees, link to article, worlds worst boss, business
Transcript
Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.
Wednesday November 30,
2011
Tags employees, secretaries (office), manually entered data, entire weekend, die monster!, business
Transcript
Carol: I manually entered all of the employee data you wanted. It took the entire weekend. Boss: I probably should have told you I no longer need it. Carol: Die! Die! Die! You inconsiderate monster! Boss: Did you really enter all of the data? Carol: Maybe. Let's call it a tie.
Tuesday December 06,
2011
Tags business ethics, taxes, warren buffet, tax rate, subsidizing mansion, condescending, show appreciation, ceo, high tax, worker
Transcript
CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.
Monday December 19,
2011
Tags big business, inventions, google, develop ideas, 60 hours, per week, math, education
Transcript
Man: At Google, we're encouraged to spend 20% of our time developing our own ideas. Dilbert: How many hours per week do you work? Man: About sixty. Wally: It sounds better when you don't do the math.


