Sales Person Comic Strips - Page 28

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391 Results for Sales Person

View 271 - 280 results for sales person comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #angry, #hateful creature, #hope, #interviews, #job interview, #managers & supervisors, #monster, #optimisim, #smile, #toxic work place, #business

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Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #models, #out of stiock, #credibility, #bait and switch, #tactics, #sales, #technology, #computer, #tablets, #business

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Our model XR35 is the only one that will work in your situation. The other models would be nightmares. Dilbert: Okay, we'll take the XR35. Ted: Opps it appears we are out of stock. Dilbert: This is the part where your credibility comes into question. Ted: Have you looked at ethics's XP9? I think it would be perfect.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fear, #inventions, #machine learning, #track customers, #machines take over, #annihilate all humans

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CEO: Our machine learning technology allows us to track customer preferences and use that knowledge to manipulate them. Dilbert: That seems like the step that happens right before the machines take over the earth and annihilate all humans. CEO: There's always one person in every crowd who says that. Dilbert: Not for much longer, apparently.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #argument, #blame, #boss, #disater, #fault, #new software, #recommended against, #responsible

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Alice: The new software is a disaster. The Boss: They why did you recommend it? Alice: This software is your idea. I recommended against it! So who's fault is it? The Boss: The person with the unpersuasive recommendations?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #smart garbageman, #again soul, #someone less fortunate, #flowers on grave, #grave speaks

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Dilbert: The world's smartest garbage man says I need to help someone less fortunate to regain my soul. Ratbert: Don't look at me. I'm happier than a tickled clam. Dilbert: I brought you some flowers, dead person. Dead person: I don't need 'em I'm good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #marketing, #engineers, #percentage increase, #trivial base, #stink eye, #business

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Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #request, #broken computer, #borrow one, #selfish tools, #coffee stirres

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Dilbert says, "I didn't work on your request this week because my computer is broken and my company is too cheap to replace it." Dilbert says, "I tried to borrow one, but the people I work with are a bunch of selfish tools." A man says, "Maybe I shouldn't take you on sales calls." Dilbert says, "So I built a tiny fort out of coffee stirrers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #jury selection, #big eyebrows, #dumb as you look, #manipulate, #love, #relationships

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Jury selection Dogbert says, "You with the big eyebrows, are you as dumb as you look?" A man says, "I'm not sure. I don't remember what I look like." Dogbert says, "Okay, you're in. And on an unrelated noted, I'm the only person who ever loved you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #need plan, #plant plan, #employee of the month, #cop, #wanted list, #net, #crazy person

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A man says, "We need a plan for making our plan." The man says, "Then we need to plan the plan's planny plan." A police officer says, "Have you seen this man?" The Boss says, "Sigh. There goes another employee of the month."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #powerpoint, #slides, #presentation, #monkey, #outsource, #pointing, #animals

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Dilbert says, "If we migrate our enterprise applications to the web, and outsource our sales and product development?" Dilbert says, "The entire company can be managed by one monkey." Dilbert says, "Plus a second monkey to look at the powerpoint slides from the first monkey."