Whole Body Numb Comic Strips - Page 28

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

306 Results for Whole Body Numb

View 271 - 280 results for whole body numb comic strips. Discover the best "Whole Body Numb" comics from Dilbert.com.

Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags replication, technology, clone, playing god, doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.

Scott's Birthday Cake

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scott's Birthday Cake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joy, joyless, cruelty, birthday, cynicism, cynic

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: We've got a cake in the break room for Scott's birthday. Dilbert: I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing. Carol: Ow! You sucked all of the joy out of my body! Dilbert: Maybe you can backfill it with cake.

Four Hour Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, decisions, meeting, meetings, productivity, time, time management, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, work, results, observation, thinking, strategy, proof, evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

Why People Have Consciousness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why People Have Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, technology, evolution, consciousness, bodies, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Robots have no need for consciousness. We believe humans evolved to have consciousness to remind them how dumb they are. Boss: I still prefer having consciousness. Robot: Listen to your body.

Asok Not A Terrorist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Not A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags terrorist, terrorism, extremism, frustration, racism, accusation, accuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you threaten to kill Dick? Asok: He accused me of being a terrorist! Boss: Are you? Asok: Gaaa! I just want to blow up this whole building! Boss: Um... I need to make a call. Asok: It better not be about me!

New Company Mascot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Company Mascot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hunchback, posture, transformation, health, body

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I hear you're undergoing an identity transition. Dilbert: No, I just have bad posture from looking at a screen all day. I'm not literally turning into Quasimodo. Catbert: That's too bad, because we need a new mascot for the company and you would be perfect.

Self Empowered Week

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Empowered Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, aspirations, work ethic, standards, guest artist, jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.

The Virus Afterlife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Virus Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul, conscience, morality, morals, sentience, life, death, existence, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.

Wally's Work Life Balance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I can't do your urgent task because I'm on deadline for my boss. I can't meet your deadline because I have an urgent task from a co-worker. I finally figured out the whole "work-life balance" thing.