Annihilates Stupid Part Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

478 Results for Annihilates Stupid Part

View 281 - 290 results for annihilates stupid part comic strips. Discover the best "Annihilates Stupid Part" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #servers, #electricity, #virtualize, #trade journal, #software, #over shoulder, #computer, #boss, #worker, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our servers are using too much electricity. We need to virtualize. I did my part by reading about virtualization in a trade journal. Now you do the software part. Why is your part taking so long?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #assignment, #boss, #cubicle, #less is more, #more is less, #not interchangable, #wrong pharsing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Here's your assignment. Do it! Do it! Do it, you idiot!" Dilbert: What kind of management is that? The Boss: That's called tough love. Dilbert: Tough love only makes sense if I am doing something wrong and refuse to change. The Boss: Well, sometimes more is less. Dilbert: The saying it 'less is more,' not 'more is less. The Boss: If less equals more, then more must equal less. Duh. "This is the part where you usually refuse to admit you are wrong."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #explanation for working, #malicious, #prove stupid, #unemployment benefits, #working

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Wally, I have to fire you for posting a comic comparing managers to drunken lemurs. You won't be eligible for unemployment benefits unless you can prove you were stupid as opposed to malicious. Can you prove you're stupid? Wally: Is thereanother explanation for working here?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wall of approval, #heckler, #conceptual bricks, #tough audience, #aggressive, #dislike

View Transcript

Transcript

Each department that signs off on the proposal adds a brick to the wall of approval." approval process " Alice: Question: What would happen if I flung one of those conceptual bricks at your conceptual, stupid head? They warned me you were a tough audience. Alice: Fling! Fling!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #25 questions, #before start, #bluff, #didn't send email, #email, #excuses, #lies to boss, #non responsive, #slacker, #standoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I planned to be productive this week. I sent you an e-mail with 25 questions I need answered before I can start on my project. I waited patiently while your non-responsiveness crushed my hopes and dreams. The Boss: I don't have time to answer 25 questions! Wally: Well then, it appears we are at a standoff. The Boss: Okay, okay! I'll work all weekend answering your stupid questions!!! Wally: That's great, unless you can't find the e-mail I sent. Dilbert: Did you really send an e-mail?" Wally: That's not how I roll.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company invested, #billion dollars, #made up numbers, #slide to oblivion, #made a difference, #victims

View Transcript

Transcript

"The company decided to invest a billion dollars based on your stupid made-up numbers." "You've crushed my dreams of a better tomorrow. Now my life is a cold, wet slide to oblivion." "I finally made a difference at work." "how many victims?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bleed people, #living and dead, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interest free loan, #paperwork, #snortling, #leverage is limited, #no snortling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I've decided that your tiny company will give us an interest-free loan." The Boss says, "There's no paperwork to sign. We'll just pay your invoices late while snortling." The Boss says, "This is the part where you realize your negotiating leverage is limited." A man, "I demand no snortling!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brain, #part of brain, #controls morality, #the natural, #glows from within

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My doctor says everything is fine except for the part of my brain that controls morality." The Boss says, "Gasp! The management prophesies are true. You must be the one they call..." Catbert says, "THE NATURAL?!!" The Boss says, "He glows from within."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hold hand, #project, #work independently, #trap, #failure or insubordination, #hidden camera shows, #joke on me

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, I won't have time to hold your hand on this project." The Boss says, "You need to work independently." The Boss says, "And by that I mean you should imagine what I would tell you to do, then do it." Asok says, "But... I can only imagine you telling me stupid things." Asok says, "Holy Shiva! This is a trap!" Asok says, "My choices are failure or insubordination." Asok says, "My only hope is that I'm in one of those hidden camera shows and this is all a big joke on me." Dilbert says, "Find anything?" Asok says, "Can't... stop... looking."