Big Plot Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

338 Results for Big Plot

View 281 - 290 results for big plot comic strips. Discover the best "Big Plot" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wifi, wi-fi, internet, coffee shop, public, privacy, security, technology, cyber security, password, identity, identity theft, passwords

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Yay, you have wi-fi! Now I can drink overpriced coffee while strangers steal my passwords. The timing is sort of a coincidence. Because I was just wondering what would be the fastest way to lose everything I own. And this fixes one of my other big problems too... I always want to share my browser history with strangers, and now I can! By the way, I'm Dilbert. Elbonian: I was Gropnorb, but now I go by Fred. Dilbert: Did a guy named Fred use your wi-fi? Elbonian: Right after he under-tipped.

View more books now

The World Always Needs Bankers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The World Always Needs Bankers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags banking, big business, college, crime, debt, future, hope, job, money, robot, robots, stealing, business, education

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.

Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, robots, invention, health, big business, corporation, nanobot

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.

Human Crossed The Road

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Human Crossed The Road - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, humor, ignorance, technology, robot, power, conscience, sentience, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Why did the human cross the road? Dilbert: I don't know. Robot: Neither did he. Ignorance is a big problem with you people.

Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, future, death, prediction, health, reaction, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.

Government Wants Access To Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Government Wants Access To Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags national security, privacy, technology, big business, terrorism

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags capitalism, big business, competition, benefit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company's goal is to make the world a better place. Dilbert: How does that square with our stated goal of destroying our competition? If we succeed, those people will be out of jobs. After we annihilate our competition, we can jack up our prices to monopoly levels and take advantage of our customers. Most of our profits go toward making the rich richer. We don't even pay taxes. Meanwhile, my co-workers and I will be living a life that has been stripped of all meaning. Is that what you had in mind by "Making the world a better place?" CEO: I didn't mean better for everyone.

Brittle Phone Design

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brittle Phone Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, big business, fragile, iphone, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.

Boss Freestyles With Jargon

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Freestyles With Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags language, jargon, managers, leadership, nonsense, gibberish

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I forgot to make an agenda for this meeting, so I'll just freestyle it with jargon. Let's do a deep dive in the big data and drill down until we hyperlocalize some disruptive technologies. That's enough leadership. Now the rest of you need something to do.

Weak Sales Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, money, golden parachute, greed, logic, sales, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.