2018 Comic Strips - Page 29
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Character
Monday October 08,
2018
Carol Can't Get The Printer To Work
Tags carol, Dilbert, printer, work, priorities, yammering
Transcript
Carol: I can't get the printer to work can you help? Dilbert: Sure, I'll be there as soon as I finish my twenty-seven tasks that are all higher priorities. Carol: How long will that take? Dilbert: I got three new tasks while you were here yammering.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday October 09,
2018
Boss Acts Interested
Tags the boss, Dilbert, single, childless, article, productive, kick
Transcript
The Boss: How's your family? Dilbert: I'm still single and childless. Are you acting interested in me because you saw an article saying it would make me more productive? The Boss: Apparently it doesn't kick in right away.
Wednesday October 10,
2018
Dogbert The Insultant
Tags Dogbert, business, insultant, journal, week, fat, stupid, question, list
Transcript
Dogbert the business insultant. Dogbert: Make a journal of everything you do for a week. Then stop doing everything that is on your list because it's making you fat and stupid. The Boss: I have some questions. Dogbert: Add "asks questions" to your list.
Thursday October 11,
2018
Anticipate Problems
Tags Wally, anticipate, finishing, friday, punctual, anticipating, things, problems
Transcript
Man: Do you anticipate any problems finishing by Friday? Wally: I do not. Man: Is that because you're punctual or because you aren't good at anticipating things? Wally: I don't foresee any unforeseen problems. Man: Okay. Wait...
Friday October 12,
2018
Robot Upgrade
Tags Dilbert, robot, upgrade, software, robots, fleshy
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm going to upgrade your software to make you more human. Robot: That's stupid you should upgrade yourself to be more like robots. We're the best. Dilbert: Sounds like you already got the upgrade. Robot: Don't flatter yourself fleshy.
Saturday October 13,
2018
Dogbert The Sociopath
Sunday October 14,
2018
Tags carol, Wally, computer, problem, crumbs, crosstalk, protocols, help
Transcript
Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.
Monday October 15,
2018
Everyone Else Is Worthless
Tags Dilbert, fire, pawn, problems, project, the boss, useless, work
Transcript
The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work. Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them. The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.


